STEP ASIDE ALAN Shatter, and take your dog-eared copy of Laura with you.

The nominees for this year’s Literary Review magazine’s annual Bad Sex in Fiction awards are out.

Strap down your heaving bosoms, control your throbbing member, and let’s highlight some of this year’s most cringetastic writing.

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This year’s glorious nominees are:

• The Snow Queen by Michael Cunningham
• The Narrow Road to the Deep North by Richard Flanagan
• The Hormone Factory by Saskia Goldschmidt
• Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami
• The Age of Magic by Ben Okri
• The Affairs of Others by Amy Grace Loyd
• Desert God by Wilbur Smith
• Things to Make and Break by May-Lan Tan
• The Lemon Grove by Helen Walsh
• The Legacy of Elizabeth Pringle by Kirsty Wark

More from the Literary Review Twitter account, if your knees can take it.

More: Read some of last year’s humdingers> 

Here is the sex scene from Alan Shatter’s novel>