Dublin: 17 °C Sunday 16 June, 2024
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7 ways you can destroy this evening's BBQ

Don’t pretend you haven’t thought about having a BBQ this evening.

THE SUN IS out around Ireland*.

*If the sun’s not out around your parts, we apologise. Rest assured when we all get the rain we deserve, you’ll be basking in some glorious rays.


If you haven’t already been furiously emailing or texting friends and/or family about your NEED to have a BBQ or picnic this evening, then you need to check your Irish citizenship. It’s in our genes.

However, chances are you’re not one of those super-organised people with all of the necessary ingredients and accoutrements in your house, so here are the 7 ways you’re going to ruin this evening’s BBQ…

1. Get to Tesco too late

You decide at 6.57pm that you simply must make the most of this gorgeous evening. You pelt to Tesco to be greeted with:

  • Pork Chops with a strange tikka/cajun/cabbagewater marinade on them
  • Quorn fillets
  • Turkey sausages
  • Rosewater and elderflower Tortilla chips

You buy them all. You have no choice.

2. Forget the burger buns

3. Forget that you don’t own a BBQ

You’re sure you have one from last year in the shed, right?

WRONG! That was a disposable one and/or you gave a lend of it to Uncle Séamus.

Time to improvise:

4. Burn your eyebrows off

5. Burn all of the food

Image: FiskFisk/Flickr/Creative Commons

via Imgur

6. Give everyone food poisoning

Burnt on the outside, raw in the middle. Standard.

7. Set up your disposable BBQ on a glass table

via Imgur

via Imgur

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