ACCORDING TO A new study by LinkedIn, you’re most likely to hit a quarter life crisis as you’re approaching your 27th birthday.
Just when you think your early twenties were baffling enough, your mid-twenties come along and present a whole new set of issues to flummox you.
1. You start getting the first flashes of “I don’t understand this thing that young people like” and it stresses you out.
2. Strangers referring to “the man/the lady” are talking about YOU now.
3. You don’t really get asked for your ID any more. Except in Lidl where they always seem to ID people and even though you know this, it feeds your ego a bit.
4. The thought of two nights out in a row fills you with deep fear instead of excitement.
5. You realise that you used to go out on weeknights, and wonder if that part of your life ever really happened or if you just dreamed it.
6. You’re no longer really sure how to react when friends or acquaintances get pregnant. Two years ago you’d have said “Oh SHITE” but now they’re probably glad about it?
7. Everyone is getting engaged all the time.
8. Everyone is doing marathons all the time. There’s your old roommate Padraig there, a man who barely left his bed for all of college, doing a marathon. Sod off, Padraig.
9. You woke up one morning in your rental and thought “I can’t live like this anymore. I hate these squeaky leather couches and rotten carpet. I want my own things.”
10. But you absolutely cannot see yourself ever owning a house unless you move to like, Kiltimagh and live off the land. Which is sounding very attractive these days.
11. This all coincides with a sudden interest in interiors, which you’ve never even slightly cared about before.
12. But now you often wander into the Carolyn Donnelly section in Dunnes to coo over enamel plates and teapots shaped like birds.
13. You have to choose the ’25-30′ age bracket now, which just can’t be possible and can I please speak to the manager?
14. YOU STILL HAVE SPOTS, even though you were explicitly told that would be over by now.
15. As well as that, you are also starting to see signs of wrinkles and what may later become a funny knee or a bad wrist.
16. You’ve started a complicated skincare routine to combat this while also holding the opinion that the entire skincare industry is a scam. See? Confusing!
17. Every so often you get a big burst of ‘SEIZE THE MOMENT!!!’ and decide you’re going to quit your job and go travelling/do TEFL/start a vlog.
18. Then a week later you’re like “…Or I could just stay here. Preferably in my bed. Forever.”
19. But you take comfort in the fact that people over 30 agree that most of it sorts itself out. So you’ve got that to look forward to at the very least. Great, then.
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