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Dublin: 13 °C Thursday 21 March, 2019
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13 reasons you're better off than your friends who've moved to London

We’re having a ball here in Ireland, after all.

Image: Shutterstock.com

AH, LONDON.  WHERE the streets are paved with gold!

Or at least, that’s what your friends who’ve moved there want you to believe.

Is that the truth though?  No. It’s not.

In fact, we believe you are better off here, and here’s why.

Rent

Whatever about it being pricey here, it is almost prohibitively expensive in London.

Not only that, but you almost always have to go through a letting agent, and they have a reputation for being useless.

This garage, for example, is up for rent for £300 p/week.  PER WEEK.  It does have a shower in  it, mind.

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Winkworth

The Tube

It’s filthy and crowded and frequently stinks.

Not only that, you can’t even use your phone on it!

Not to mention the people you might encounter…

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Everyone is broke

Between the price of rent, the cost of transportation, and most of the starting wages many Irish emigrants are broke upon arrival in London.

At least if you’re broke here you can raid your ma’s press for food.

In London you’ll just be bored and hungry, sitting at home on a Friday night in ‘one of the best cities in the world’.

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It takes ages to get anywhere

Want to go for brunch for a post-night out debrief?  You’d want to get going at about 8AM because otherwise you’ll only arrive at your destination at dinner time.

(OK, that may be an exaggeration, but it really does take ages to get from point A to point B.)

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Your mates

So if you can’t afford to go out and it takes ages to get anywhere, it’s going to be hard to make friends.

Meanwhile, all of us in Ireland are all together and having a ball.

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Your family are here

Need we say more?

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A good pint of Guinness is hard to come by in London

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Flickr/Paul Watson

The pollution

Seriously, just blow your nose after a weekend over there.

It won’t be pretty.

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Their fast food options leave a lot to be desired

No chipper chips or 3-in-ones lads.

Mushy peas?  JELLIED EEL?  No.  Just NO.

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mobiledisco

Don’t even think about going shopping at the weekend

It’s like Grafton Street on Christmas Eve, every single week.

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Dominic Lipinski/PA Archive/Press Association Images

The tourists

Obviously we have tourists here (and thank goodness for that), but in London there are so many more.

While yes, they are essential to the economy and yes, we are all tourists at one time or another, there is no doubt that crowds of tourists in your city can add to your day to day frustration.

YouTube/TheLondonMarriott

You might develop one of those half Irish half English accents

It happens to the best of us, but no one wants it.

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Access to Tayto and Rock Shandy is severely curtailed

Why would you choose to live in that kind of world?

A world where your basic food requirements are marginalised and confined to a special section of the supermarket?  If you’re lucky!

No thanks.

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Flickr/technokitten

So, yes.  London has one of the finest selections of culture  in the world.

Yes, there are lots of  interesting and attractive people there.

Yes, there are opportunities there you could only dream of in Ireland.

BUT.  We’ve got Barrys tea, our mates and our ma, and that’s good enough for us.

15 annoying things emigrants say>

7 people who are weirdly miffed about the Rose of Tralee>

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