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9 internal panics you'll have during the big Christmas food shop

What do you mean you haven’t ordered a turkey?

DOING THE BIG shop comes with enough problems of its own… wobbly wheels, unexpected items in bagging areas etc.

Add in crowds, a longer list and a fight to the death for parking spaces, and you’ve got the daddy of them all: The Big Christmas Food Shop.

Here are some of the internal panics you’re almost certain to go through…

1. “That wagon is going to steal my space”

It all starts in the car park, where the battle for a decent space makes monsters of men.


2.  ”I’ve no euro for the trolley. I’VE NO EURO FOR THE TROLLEY”

You cast around desperately, wondering if asking a stranger for a euro is out of the question.

tumblr_m7owp62L6z1qkr0wto1_500 Source: Tumblr

3.  ”That woman is reaching for the last sausagemeat stuffing”

Christmas is ruined!

Oh wait, there’s more over there.

ecM9Y Source: Imgur

4. “Eight litres of coke. Is it enough? Should I get another two-pack?”

Nothing says Christmas like four litres of minerals packaged up and offered to you at a price you can’t refuse. Sure get another few. Can’t hurt.

2er-gebinde-coca-cola-bedruckte-banderole-klein Source: Penn-packaging

5. “Why didn’t I order a turkey?”

You become convinced that as you round the corner to where the shelves of festive fowl are kept you’ll be met by a surely butcher who guffaws at your stupid failure to order their Christmas bird.


butcher Source: Shutterstock

6. “How many emergency bottles of wine and boxes of biscuits should I buy?”

You know that as soon as you think you have everything sorted, a neighbour will call round with a bottle of Baileys and a card for you and you’ll have nothing for them.

Emergency bottles and tins are always handy to have in case of such an event.

Extra biscuits are also useful for the embarrassing moment in front of the aftermentioned neighbours when you realise that someone has infiltrated the Afternoon Tea and eaten the whole second layer.

scared Source: Shutterstock.com

7. “That person has TWO slabs of beer in their trolley. Should I get another slab?”

Best to. Better safe than sorry. Maybe you should get three? After all, the shops are going to be closed for a whole day.

Boneyard-Out-of-Beer-Sign Source: Wanderlustandlipstick

8. “Which queue? WHICH QUEUE?”

No matter which one you join, the one you didn’t join will inevitably move faster.

You will grow to hate the person in the queue in front of you, with their overflowing trolley, insufficient number of bags for life, and their last-minute wallet fumbling.



9. “I forgot the shagging tin foil”

Never fear. You can pick up a roll in your local convenience store for €17. They’ll also be selling batteries for €36 and gravy granules for €13.

tumblr_lok8u3mmCI1qj4pjzo1_500 Source: Tumblr

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About the author:

Emer McLysaght

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