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Dublin: 16 °C Friday 14 August, 2020

Irish breakfast cereals: A definitive ranking, from worst to best

It’s the Honey Monster v Tony The Tiger.

HERE AT we know what matters.

So we’ve painstakingly ranked all the varieties  of Irish breakfast cereals*, from worst to best.

This ranking is final and definitive.

*By ‘Irish breakfast cereals’, we mean the ones available in Ireland, past and present. By ‘all’, we mean some of the main ones.

20. All Bran

Dusty matchsticks. That’s what All Bran is.

Hamster food Source: trekkyandy

19. Original Shredded Wheat

Tastes like steel wool. And you shouldn’t need a knife and fork to eat your breakfast cereal.

shredwheat16 Source: Homeflavour

18. Lucky Charms

You can now buy these for approximately €427 in selected food emporiums in Ireland. Don’t bother.

Unless you have this kind of patience:

1 box Lucky Charms + 15 minutes = just the good stuff - Imgur Source: Imgur

17. Fruit and Fibre

A satisfactory alternative to muesli, and thanks to Ross Kemp we’ll always remember that it contains:

Apples, hazelnuts, bananas, raisins, coconut, sultanas…

Source: PikerAds/YouTube

16. Special K

Eating Special K actually makes you LOSE weight, at least that’s what they want you to believe.

A pleasant enough malty taste, and strangely moreish.

I'm thankful for the typical mornings. Source: benjaflynn

15. Country Store

By Country Store we really mean all muesli, but this particular brand gets a special mention owing to its exceptionally pleasing packaging. We’re a fickle bunch.

File:Country Store.jpg Source: Wikipedia

14. Porridge

You either love it or you hate it. You might take it with milk, or balk at the idea, preferring the more austere water method. Adding fruit is an option, or maybe honey. Perhaps brown sugar is your bag. Listen, what you do in the privacy of your own kitchen is up to you.


13. Shreddies

Commonly known in Ireland as a “blow in” cereal with slight notions, Shreddies are nonetheless a reasonable choice. A fine variety of flavours, and a grand big box.

Shreddies Source: Thegreatbritishdiet

12. Sugar Puffs

There’s only so much sugar one can take, and Sugar Puffs step over the line.

It’s really nostalgia that helps them onto this list. Who didn’t want the Honey Monster to turn up at the breakfast table/football match/birthday party? We love you Honey Monster.

tumblr_mlmuq2rr3F1s9vkw1o1_500 Source: Tumblr

11. Weetabix

There’s no messing with Weetabix. What you see is what you get. We’re hot milk people here at Towers, but if cold milk floats your boat, that’s okay too.

weetabix Source: Sean MacEntee

10. Frosties

Essentially just cornflakes with the sugar already added. However, there is something about the shiny glaze that elevates Frosties. And anything with a mascot as enduring as Tony the Tiger has to be on to a good thing.

lgcereal_frosties_1000_0052 Source: BlogSpot

9. Cheerios

You could pour yourself a bowl of Cheerios as big as a house, and still it would never be enough. Such a pleasant texture, with just enough give once the milk has been added.

The original variety can be a little bland, leaving them at number nine.

Cheerios Source: yaybiscuits123

8. Bran Flakes

An underrated classic, but perceived to be “too good for you” to rank any higher.

A word of warning: there are people in this world who put sugar on Bran Flakes. These people want to watch the world burn.

Bran flakes with semi-skimmed milk Source: Lancastrian

7. Corn pops

Ah the elusive Corn Pop. A disgusting concept (originally marketed as tasting like popcorn, and who wants to eat milky popcorn) marvellously executed.

Unfortunately these are no longer available in Ireland so make friends with someone who’s going to America soon.

There are claims that Kelloggs Honey Pops are a suitable replacement. We are not convinced.

Yeah Mr. White! Yeah! Corn Pops! - Imgur Source: Imgur

6. Weetos

These crispy chocolate hoops will assault the roof of your mouth, but they are worth it. Man alive are they worth it.

weetos-chocolate-500-f Source: Theswca

5. Rice Krispies

In at number five is the humble puffed rice. Not only are Rice Krispies the basis for the world’s best party food (shout out to Rice Krispie buns), they also have an elegant simplicity.

Rice Krispies! Source: Dspencer4

4. Crunchy Nut Cornflakes

Despite smelling ever so faintly of wet dog, there’s a reason the ads for Crunchy Nut Cornflakes depict people frantically scrambling for more.

Their sheer addictiveness garners them the number four slot.

Kelloggs-Crunchy-Nut-Cornflakes---1Kg Source: Ipcdigital

3. Cornflakes

You don’t mess with a classic, and it doesn’t get much more classic than cornflakes. Welcome to number three cornflakes.

1962 Kellogg's Cornflakes advertisement Source: Bess Georgette

2. Start

Irish people love Start. We feel a kinship to it. We don’t know if it’s because it makes us feel athletic, or because you can only get about three bowls out of the box so it must be special.

Either way, it’s delicious, and deserves its number two slot.

start Source: Angryjogger

1. Coco Pops

Ah the humble Coco Pop. The daddy of all horrifyingly sweet and chocolatey cereals.

Coco Pops give so much, and expect nothing in return. Even a small box yields plenty of bowls. Every spoonful is delicious and at the end you have the reward of a chocolatey milky lake.

Even their difficult Choco Kirspies phase was top notch.

Congrats Coco Pops, you cheeky monkey.

coco pops and milk make a bowl full of fun Source: Shannon Stockley :)

Now, have at it in the comments section…

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About the author:

Emer McLysaght

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