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11 ridiculous things you can actually buy that prove capitalism has gone too far

Why do babies need all of these things?

THERE COMES A time in your life when you say “enough is enough”. For some it’s the moment you are forced to spend €6 on a bottle of water in the airport. For others it’s the moment when you’re voluntarily watching a companies ad on Facebook and it’s interrupted with an ad you didn’t want to see. It’s when you realise that ads within ads exist.

Here are some of the most ridiculous products that exist, all thanks to capitalism.

1. Glue for your babies head to clarify it’s gender

girlie glue

Girlie Glue was invented to stick bows to the heads of baby girls so that everyone knows they’re girls. Because obviously bows are strictly for females only.

never too early to be feminine

2. Sometimes a bow isn’t enough to discern a tiny infants gender. Sometimes you need baby heels

pee wee pumps Source: Pee Wee Pumps

Someone really believes that the lives of tiny babies who are barely conscious of their surroundings can be enhanced by the availability of little fake high heels.

#FREESHIPPING on ALL Domestic Orders Of ... You can see this baby asking itself what it did to deserve this Source: Pee Wee Pumps

These babies can’t even walk yet. In fact babies at this age hate their shoes enough as it is and throw them out of the pram all of the time. I hope babies kick these shoes off and revolt.

3. Lollipop holders for your belt

lollipop holders Source: Facebook

Why you ever even consider putting a lollipop in your pocket to transport it when you could pay $52 to suspend it from your belt loop?

4. Deconstructed meals and drinks

Why would you pay €30 for something that looks like your ma left it in the fridge because you decided to go out after work instead of coming home for dinner?

13319906_1026936757396131_8828158124479211155_n Source: Jamila Rizvi/Facebook

Why are you purposely creating the extra dishes to wash? Do you hate yourselves as much as you hate us?

5. Fine wine for your pet

The one and only Original All-Natural Cat Wine ... Source: Apollo Peak Pet Wines

 6. This photograph of the Mulan Szechuan sauce McDonald’s sold in the 1990s

PastedImage-21716 Source: eBay

Not the actual sauce itself, but a photograph of it. Currently bidding stands at $76,400 because of an episode of Rick and Morty.

7. $100,000 bottled water

Source: GQ/YouTube

Two years ago Diplo and 2 Chainz were invited to a water tasting session with one of the worlds leading water experts.

You’ve got to love how the water man reassures them that the suitcase and glasses are included in the $100,000, as if those are things that anyone would ever possibly pay more than €50 for.

Only 9 of the bottles were ever produced and after 2 years they still haven’t managed to sell them all.

8. Any overpriced “Artesian” water

Apart from being obnoxiously expensive, exploiting local communities and being incredibly harmful to the environment, these companies make the most ridiculous and useless accessories for their water.

PastedImage-31307 Source: Fiji Water

They charge $10 for a pack of six straws.

PastedImage-10581 Source: Fiji Water

They also sell silver sleeves to rest your water bottles in.

9. A beer specifically for drinking on planes

10. Pre-peeled fruits

see also: Fruit that does not need packaging

11. Nail polish made of Prosecco

Source: Groupon UK & IE/YouTube

Thank you Groupon for making Prosecco consumable in the most unhygienic manner imaginable.

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About the author:

Kelly Earley

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