Dublin: 13 °C Tuesday 22 September, 2020

Which disastrous Christmas present shopper are you?

Step away from the foot spas.

WITH ONLY A week to go to the big day, the same question is being thrown at us left, right and centre…

phone1 Source: Shutterstock.com

If this query fills you with dread to your very bones, then you’re probably one of these disastrous Christmas present shoppers…

1. The person with no list

Without some kind of direction you are going to end up aimlessly buying bits and pieces in the weeks leading up the Christmas, muttering to yourself “oh Anne would love that” and “that’s a nice little yoke to add into Bernard’s pressie”.

Next thing you know it’s Christmas Eve and you have three notebooks, hand lotion, a bookmark, two necklaces and a jewellery box for Anne, a jumper, book of Karl Pilkington quotes, two pairs of ‘gas’ socks and a Mondello voucher for Barry AND NOTHING FOR YOUR MOTHER!

Make that list, check it twice.


2. The foot spa person

Here’s a friendly reminder. You bought your mother a foot spa last year, and three years ago. She already has two foot spas.

Step away from the foot spas. Yes, you. Step away.

spa1 Source: Shutterstock.com

3. The person who thinks bath smellies are acceptable

Before you buy that lovely set of bath salts and pearls for that special someone ask yourself these simple questions:

a) Has this person, to your knowledge, taken a bath since the mid eighties?

b) Does this person even have a bath in their house?

c) Has this person ever expressed any interest in bath salts, or even know what they’re for?

If the answer to any of these questions is “no”, then you shouldn’t be buying those bath smellies.

cat_doesn__t_want_to_take_a_bath___gif__by_lookincool45-d578eox Source: deviantART

4. The person who leaves their dad’s present til last

A recent survey by One4All revealed that one in five Irish people find their dads the most difficult person to buy for, so leaving his present til the last minute is not a good idea.

Let’s run through the things you’ve already considered:

hanna Source: HannaHats.com

shutterstock_64419379 Source: Shutterstock.com

bestdad Source: Amazon

Allow us to help you out with some fresh ideas:

A very Irish tax disc:

tax-3-500x500 Source: GrandGrand.ie

The complete Hands box set

hands-box-set-traditional-irish-crafts-dvd Source: JamArtFactory.com

Commander Hadfield’s book


5. The person who leaves it all until Christmas Eve

If you’re part of the “sure I’ll get it all in Golden Discs on Christmas Eve brigade”, then this is how you’ll spend the hours between 3pm and 5.55pm on 24 December:

3pm: “Sure I’ve loads of time. I’ll just stroll around a few shops and pick everything up as I go along. Pint in my hand by 6pm”.

3.30pm: “Hmmm, Dunnes is sold out of socks and I can’t find mam’s perfume anywhere. No bother, I’ll get them something else”.


PanicLionKing Source: Colinandyenyen

5pm: “Totally fine. Still have Golden Discs and the chemists to go. Loads of stuff there”

5.55pm: You have bought five packets of blank CDs and 7 Lily of the Valley gift sets. Nothing else. Merry Christmas everyone.

480444_AAA_4PC_SETLILY_OF_THE_VALLEY_ Source: WorldMarket.com

6. The person who loses their car

Not only have you left it all to the last minute, now you’re wandering around the Liffey Valley Car Park occasionally taking out your phone to to try to ring your car.

Lost-Llama- Source: blogs.kcrw.com

7. The person who insists that “it’s only small” as the gift is unwrapped.

Congratulations, you’re 100% Irish.

shite Source: shutterstock.com

11 invaluable tips to help you survive an Irish family Christmas>

Have you received something worse than these appalling Christmas presents?

About the author:

Emer McLysaght

Read next: