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Dublin: 7 °C Wednesday 18 September, 2019
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11 absolutely unforgivable cinema sins

PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY!

coming Source: imgur

WITH MORE AND more Irish people going to the cinema according to new figures, we think it’s time for a quick recap on the proper etiquette.

Break these rules at your peril…

Arriving late

If you trip into the cinema after the lights have gone down and the film has already started, there’s no way we’re going to feel sorry for you as you fumble up the stairs, desperately peering into the rows for an empty seat.

And if you chose our row, forcing us to accordion our legs/stand up and miss 15 seconds of the movie we might consider finding out where you live, arriving in the dead of night with a trout, and placing it in your curtain pelmets. Ok?

smile

Whispering

There’s only one sound more annoying than out and out talking in the cinema, and that’s persistent exaggerated whispering and giggling.

“PSH WSH WSH WSH PSH PWH GIGGLE GIGGLE PSH WSH”.

Cut it out.

Using your phone after the lights go down

Source: Shutterstock.com

Even if you think you’re hiding it well after the lights go down, someone behind you CAN STILL SEE IT AND YOU’RE RUINING THE FILM FOR THEM. PUT IT AWAY YOU CRETIN.

If you can’t live without checking your texts/Facebook/Twitter for more than two hours then get in the sea.

Not buying  your own snacks and then taking all of someone else’s snacks

Oh God no I won’t have any popcorn sure I just had my dinner and LOOk at the price of it.

*spends the entire film with their trotter in your popcorn*

Like stealing candy from a baby... er popcorn from a kid Source: Imgur

Chomping

We know you’ve just tipped your Maltesers into your popcorn with exuberant fervour, but try to keep your lip smacking under control.

Ditto excessive bag rustling.

corn

Incorrect seat etiquette when it’s busy

It’s understandable that you don’t what your elbow to have to touch the elbow of whatever horrific stranger is sitting beside you, but please, if it’s busy, don’t leave seats between you like you all have the plague.

move

Incorrect seat etiquette when it’s quiet

There are 11 people in the cinema, yet you simply have to come and inhale your Tangfastics right beside us? Nope.

free

Feet on the seats

Nobody wants your battered cods resting by the heads, ok?

Oh, and if you’re considering taking your shoes off you better be sure they smell like roses.

Repeated bathroom breaks

Get a catheter mate.

cath Source: wikimedia commons

Clapping at the end of the film

We hope you find someone who claps when a plane lands and that you’ll both be very happy together. In Hedes.

stop

Leaving a mess like this

You have opposable thumbs. Use them.

mess Source: imgur

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About the author:

Emer McLysaght

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