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Communion

10 Communion traditions that children of the future will be happy to miss out on

They’ll never have to deal with getting Alive-O songs stuck in their head.

Spain: Colacho Festival SIPA USA / PA Images SIPA USA / PA Images / PA Images

LAST MONTH IT was decided that state-run primary schools will no longer offer the preparatory class for First Communion.

After much debate, it was decided that community national schools would no longer include belief instruction during class times. People will still be able to send their children to Communion classes outside of school if they would like their children to make their Communion.

At present, it will only affect the 4,000 students at the 12 community national schools in the country that are run by the ETBI. Who knows where we will be in 30 years?

Maybe some day all Communion preparation will be done outside of class time and kids will never, ever believe that our generation used to get gifted €500+ for dressing up and visiting family members.

Here are the aspects of First Holy Communion that those kids will be happy to miss out on.

1. The anxiety over what Communion bread would taste like

First Communion DPA / PA Images DPA / PA Images / PA Images

Everyone in the class with an older brother or sister had the inside knowledge that it tasted like porridge. Did it in the end? Not really. It was more like eating a bit of paper.

2. Being dragged around shops to try on 10 communion outfits that all looked exactly the same.

Elvis Jumpsuit Manufacturer B&K Enterprises Brian Cahn Brian Cahn

The last thing most 8-year-old children want to do is be subjected to a tour of Ireland’s department stores to be asked to do a mini fashion show in each. None of it mattered in the end when another person in your class showed up wearing the exact same outfit.

3. Getting to go out for your favourite meal but having to be extremely wary that you don’t spill it on your outfit.

shutterstock_210313390 Shutterstock / Maria Jeffs Shutterstock / Maria Jeffs / Maria Jeffs

Sloppy eaters had to endure weeks of jokes about how they would need a bib in the run up to their Communion.

4. Having to participate in a fashion show for the rest of your school in your dress/suit the following Monday.

First Communion DPA / PA Images DPA / PA Images / PA Images

You got a day off of classes but was it worth it to be paraded around in front of everyone else at school?

5. The amount of standing up you were forced to do in the run up to it.

shutterstock_590397281 Shutterstock / MarcinK3333 Shutterstock / MarcinK3333 / MarcinK3333

Children aren’t built to stand for hours at a time during Communion rehearsals and choir practice.

6. Having Alive-O songs stuck in your head for 20 years after your Communion.

Alive-O-5-illustration Veritas Veritas

Circle of Friends, My Shepherd is the Lord etc. These songs will never leave your brain.

7. Having to think of a sin to say at confession, when you’re literally 8-years-old and have never committed a sin.

shutterstock_613551197 Shutterstock / andras_csontos Shutterstock / andras_csontos / andras_csontos

Most kids ended up saying “Sorry for being rude to my brother” even though you definitely weren’t going to go to hell for that either way.

8. The embarrassing photos

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This woman is still being tortured by her brother about her Communion outfit years later.

9. The competitiveness of Communion celebrations

shutterstock_316318085 Shutterstock / Olesia Bilkei Shutterstock / Olesia Bilkei / Olesia Bilkei

During the Celtic Tiger this was more extreme. Fireworks displays, rented horse and carriages and bouncy castles were everywhere during Communion season in the mid 00s. This was setting children up for My Super Sweet Sixteen and resulted in a lot of bragging on the return to school after the Communion weekend.

10. The ridiculous consumerism surrounding the event

Nobody needs specific Communion underwear.

 

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