(Pic Flickr/humanstatuebodyart)
THE IRISH NIGHTCLUB is a special – nay, a unique – environment.
Here are the various people you will meet on the dancefloor. Ring any bells?
1. The I’m On A Girl’s Night Out And I Love To Dance
Signs: First on the dancefloor, with her crew. Extravagant moves. Occasional squealing.
2. The Awkward Male
Signs: Hanging around the edges of the dancefloor, possibly having been dragged there by a girl. Moves upper body self-consciously. Feet remain perfectly still.
3. The Rocker
Signs: Nowhere to be seen until the DJ plays AC/DC at 2am. Then barrels onto the dancefloor with flailing arms and head flung back. Often causes collateral damage.
4. The Failed Sexy
Signs: Trying very hard to be sultry, but falling tragically short due to technique and/or inebriation. Not by any means exclusively female.
5. The Urban (Male edition)
Signs: At the slightest whiff of hip-hop, this gentleman forgets his identity as a pasty-skinned Roscommonite and breaks out the rap moves. Sadly, they look a little incongruous with a GAA jersey.
6. The Urban (Female edition)
Signs: As above, but with twerking.
7. The Arms and Legs Everywhere
Signs: All flailing, all the limbs, all the time. Generally the result of a desperate but ultimately ill-advised attempt to avoid being #2.
8. The All Up On You
Signs: You will know him (or more rarely, her) because she will be mere millimetres away from you, leading with the crotch, and breathing pear Bulmers into your face. Can only be avoided by assembling a Wall Of Friends as fortification.
9. The Drunk
Signs: A total liability.
