Dublin: 7 °C Monday 5 December, 2022

12 very grim properties available to rent in Dublin this April

You pay so much but you get so little.

1. First up, we’ve got this €1,150 apartment in Ballinteer.

If you want to wash the dishes, you’ll just have to squeeze in between the fridge and the counter to do so.

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This property is an extension to a family home, and it comes with all of the mod cons. Except for door handles and stove tops.

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2. This Kilternan apartment is available for €1,090 per month, and is advertised solely through screenshots of iMessage texts.

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Well, that’s a first. Thanks Breda.

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If you’re going to ask someone for 60% of a month’s wages, you owe them more than a few screenshots.

3. For €800 per month, you could live in this extremely narrow Gardiner Street studio.

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The person who posted the ad is careful to note that this property is suitable for just one person. It’s safe to say that nobody would ever consider trying to squeeze another individual into that room.

4. Another property suitable for people who like squeezing into small spaces, is this Phibsborough studio apartment which costs €800 per month.

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Think of how much you would whack your elbows off of the wall while you were washing the dishes. Around the corner from the kitchen, you’ve got the bedroom. Which, as always, is a sofa bed.

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5. For €820, you could get an apartment on the North Strand with slightly bigger kitchen.

You can tell that this room was never, ever supposed to accomodate a kitchen. It looks like the builder was playing Tetris but he panicked and made a mistake.

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On the plus side, it’s a very short journey from the front door to bed after a hard day’s work.

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6. Out in Swords, a shed is going for €765 per month.

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Inside, there are some very exciting features, like this couch and kitchen combination:

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And a bare mattress.

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The usual. All for just €9,180 a year.

7. For €1,200 you can get this ground floor flat in Ballybough.

It comes complete with garden furniture instead of a dining table, as well as the kitchen units from your secondary school’s Home Ec room.

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They’ve also provided a photo of the bath, but no other part of the bathroom.

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8. For €1,300, you could get this apartment in Ranelagh.

It has massive kitchen windows that overlook a scenic car-park.

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An assortment of mismatched furniture.

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And a gap in the wall that you have to squeeze through any time you want to hop in the shower.

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What more could a person ask for?

9. This really strange apartment in Rathgar is going for €1,200.

Look at this photo and tell me that you’re completely convinced that this is not a photo of a doll’s house.

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How did the photographer achieve that angle? Were they perched on the counter? The answer is no. They were standing on a weird platform that extends into the living room, for no apparent reason.

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Here it is from another angle:

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The property description offers no explanation at all as to why there’s basically huge stage covered in carpet just casually taking up half of the living room and kitchen.

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Judging by these photos, you’d probably assume that this was the basement, due to the serious lack of natural light. Well, this apartment is actually on the third floor. It just doesn’t have a single window, by the looks of things.

10. This Phibsborough studio apartment also costs €1,200.

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That’s it. That’s all there is to this one. Judging by the photos provided there isn’t even a wardrobe. Just mash all your clothes into the food presses.

 11. One of the tightest kitchens in Ireland is located in Clontarf and is going for €725 per month.

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The bedroom is decorated with curtains that every person had in the 1990s.

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12. This Rialto apartment is just €850 per month.

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But that doesn’t cover any medical bills for any potential damage you might do to your back or neck from constantly crouching.

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Although, you’ve got to admit it’s a nicer attic setup than what Bart Simpson’s evil twin brother Hugo had.

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Have a look at all of the other sad properties we’ve spotted>

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About the author:

Kelly Earley

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