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Dublin: 2 °C Tuesday 19 November, 2019
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13 life lessons we all learned from drinking in fields

Set us up for life, it did.

THEY DIDN’T WANT us to do it, but look at how much better off we are now for drinking in fields. Sure didn’t we learn all of these things?

1. You can drink anything if you put your mind to it

Port? Cheap white wine? Decades-old sherry from the back of the press, mixed with a bit of cordial for taste? No bother.

2. And have a great night on two cans

Split a pack with some mates and you were away.

3. Plastic water bottles are an alcohol cloaking device

Cj98AXpWYAAWzqa Source: Twitter/@imemmamurphy

See that? That’s not water… It’s WKD! Bet you’re shocked.

4. And ‘I’m going to a sleepover’ is the ultimate excuse

You, convincing your parents to let you away for the night:

tumblr_lq3ashzqJl1qht847 Source: Tumblr

Try this excuse the next time you want to get out of a boring family event! Surely it still works?

5. For the gals: How to get over the mortification of peeing outside…

giphy Source: Giphy

It’s not glamorous but sometimes, it has to be done.

6. …And how to climb a wall/hop a gate with a degree of dignity

The importance of this skill is not to be underestimated.

7. The correct amount of Coke/7Up to pour out to fit a naggin in

Just enough so that it didn’t taste like crap, but not so little that you’d have to carry round an incriminating bottle.

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Put THAT on the Leaving Cert Maths paper, why don’t ye.

8. Cheap alcohol costs you little money-wise, but a lot mentally and physically

Glen’s Exciting Vodka isn’t so exciting the next morning. Just a tip.

9. But cheap mixers? Away you go

IDShot_540x540 Source: Tesco

Country Spring you beaut.

10. How to drop everything and flee upon hearing the word ‘SKETCH’

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It’s a Pavlovian response.

11. Impulse/Lynx body spray covers up all manner of sins

Spray it and it’s like you were never out.

12. You should never drunkenly attempt to ‘act normal’ around your parents

tumblr_li02p5GCeN1qzif95o1_500 Source: Tumblr

They’re not stupid. And you’re no Meryl Streep.

13. And you’re never too old to do it again

Summer returns! For two days only. #summer #Ireland

A post shared by Fiona (@fi.flynn) on

All you need to do is look at the Pav/the Barge/the Spanish Arch on a sunny day to know that this is true. Bag of cans down the canal, anyone?

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