IF THE TWENTY minute East 17 retrospective that just went down in TheJournal.ie Towers is anything to go by, we think you’re going to want to hear about this.

We’ve been indulging in ‘Deep’, remembering which one we used to fancy, and saying things like:

Brian’s vocals are shocking.

and

What’s wrong with that guy’s crotch?

Want to know more? Find ‘Stay Another Day’ on YouTube, sit back, and take this all in…

East 17 are back together, singing together, dancing together, and they could be doing it at YOUR Christmas party.. . in Dublin.

They’ve been booked to play four nights at Dublin’s Regency Hotel this December. Not only will you get a bit of dinner (four courses no less), you’ll also be treated to a “massive” East 17 show, presumably in the hotel’s ballroom.

So what can you expect from this nineties extravaganza? We’ve put together this handy list:

• THE BAND: Okay, it would be unfair to let this go on any further without breaking it to you that one member of East 17 won’t be present. Brian Harvey, who once ran over himself with his own car after eating too many baked potatoes, won’t be making the trip. It appears that when East 17 decided on a comeback last year, Harvey was less than cooperative, failing to turn up for rehearsals and “destroying any chance for success” the band might have had. So it will just be Tony Mortimer, Jon and Terry. They’re the best ones anyway.

Image: Regency Hotel

• THE VENUE: The Regency Hotel is on the Swords road, on the way to the airport. It’s sure to provide all the necessary glamour for East 17 and their fans. There is also a Centra adjacent to the hotel, for all your snacking needs.

Image: Google Maps

• THE OUTFITS: I think it’s best to let the pictures do the talking here…

They were always wearing coats. They must have been roasting (Duncan Raban/Duncan Raban/EMPICS Entertainment)

We really hope Tezzer still has this hat (YouTube/WiggyStHelensUK)

More coats. Festive ones this time (YouTube/Brianina82)

• THE LYRICZ: Did anyone else think East 17 were saying “arrestify my chest” in ‘Deep’? No, just us? Ok then. Here are some other lyrical gems to look forward to:

Outside it’s raining but inside it’s wet.

(From ‘Steam’)

Yeah I butter the toast, if you lick the knife.

(From ‘Deep’)

I’m all confused, like a child with a choice of toy.

(From ‘Thunder’)

• THE TUNES:

YouTube/Brianina82

YouTube/WiggyStHelensUK

And er, this one. Nice clapping lads:

YouTube/EugeneClark

Tempted? We’ll see you there. We’ll be the ones in the puffa jackets and dungarees… roasting.

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