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Dublin: 9 °C Tuesday 15 January, 2019

16 more of the most notiony products that Brown Thomas are selling

Please remember this list of items next time you begrudge someone on social welfare for buying pints.

1200px-Brown_Thomas_Dublin_April_2010 Source: Wiki

A FEW MONTHS ago we looked at some of the things rich people spend their money on – bathroom bins that cost €600, table cloths that cost €450 and toothpick holders that cost €140.

Time has passed and more ridiculous luxury products have been added to Brown Thomas’ online store. Here’s a depressing reminder of how unequal Irish society is:

1. They sell a bread knife that costs €215.

PastedImage-73967 Source: Brown Thomas

No matter what knife you slice a loaf of bread with, it’s going to taste the same. €215 is a bit excessive but according to the product description, this knife “cuts effortlessly through crusty loaves without compressing bread’s soft interior.” Completely justified.

2. A €1,500 dog shaped Bluetooth speaker.

PastedImage-33096 Source: Brown Thomas

Compatible with any smartphone or tablet. It’d want to be for that price.

3. A €1,000 8.5 tog duvet.

PastedImage-63622 Source: Brown Thomas

The recommended duvet for wintertime is between 10-13.5 tog, so as soon as October hits, this will probably end up in the hot press for a few months. That explains why it’s on sale, marked down from €1,175. What a steal.

4. An €850 centenary edition of Vogue.

PastedImage-89863 Source: Brown Thomas

A coffee table book that you wouldn’t want anyone to ever lay their hands on. Going by the price of the monthly Vogue mag, this doesn’t even seem that expensive. This is probably how much Vogue would cost if it wasn’t 80% ads.

The justification behind the price of this book is that it’s hand-crafted and limited edition and contains interviews with “100 renown Vogue contributors through the years.” You’d want a full meet and greet with each one of them for that price.

5. A €580 letter holder.

PastedImage-54335 Source: Brown Thomas

The only paper correspondence anybody receives in 2017 is from their bank or Revenue. Has this destroyed the letter holder industry? Has this driven the price of letter holders up to over half of a thousand euro? “Perfect for adding appeal to any office setting.” Are people really spending €580 to decorate their desks at work? Some of us can’t even afford Netflix every month.

6. A €210 toaster that only appears to fit one slice of bread.

PastedImage-87137 Source: Brown Thomas

It has a bun warming rack included, so it’s not a total disaster.

7. You know this list is bad if you look at this €25 Diptyque candle snuffer and think “That’s not too bad.”

PastedImage-31394 Source: Brown Thomas

Blowing out a candle costs nothing. It’s free. Air is free. That’s capitalism for you.

8. This €135 kitchen utensil set.

PastedImage-8998 Source: Brown Thomas

For comparison, the same selection of utensils costs €2.40 in IKEA. If you opted for IKEA’s version, you’d have enough left over to buy about 130 loaves of bread to toast one slice at a time in your €210 toaster.

9. An €80 digital scale.

PastedImage-35678 Source: Brown Thomas

Again, this doesn’t seem as expensive as the other products on the list, but just think of how frequently you use a weighing scale at home. Once a month maybe? Maybe less? Unless you’ve got some kind of Breaking Bad situation going on in your kitchen, this probably isn’t a very wise purchase.

10. A €560 checkers board.

PastedImage-3588 Source: Brown Thomas

This only includes checkers pieces. Not chess pieces. Would you ever pay €600 for a game of checkers? Please remember this list of items next time you begrudge someone on social welfare buying pints and trying to enjoy their lives. If you’re under 24 and on social welfare, you get €100 a week to try and survive on. There are people in Ireland spending six times that on checkers boards.

11. A €385 soap dispenser.

PastedImage-23440 Source: Brown Thomas

At least 1 in 10 Irish people are on minimum wage. Minimum wage in Ireland is €9.25 per hour. If you work a 39 hour week at this rate, you earn €360 before tax. This soap dispenser is more than an entire week’s income for 10% of the Irish population. In fact, it’s even more than that if you add the number of people on social welfare.

12. Or if you’re on a budget, you could opt for this €265 soap dish.

PastedImage-44209 Source: Brown Thomas

Samuel Heath (who designed this soap dish) kindly offers a 10 year finish guarantee on all chrome products, including this one. So at least if you spend €265 on this, you know it’s not going to start peeling for at least 10 years. After that, you’ll be cursing yourself for spending the guts of €300 on a soap dish that might be peeling.

13. This €220 diary.

PastedImage-21284 Source: Brown Thomas

If I  had to choose between a €210 toaster that could only cook one slice at a time or this notebook, I guess I’d choose this. That’s probably the only situation I could put myself in where this would be something I’d ever consider to be a reasonable thing to buy.

Here’s what’s supposed to be special about this notebook: “it features a useful day-per-page layout” (that’s the absolute bare minimum you’d expect for this price), “listings for the four fashion capitals and the brand’s guide for must-see places to eat, shop and indulge.” If you’ve paid €220 for this notebook, you’ve definitely done enough indulging. People have Tripadvisor and Yelp now. We don’t need recommendations for where to eat in our diaries.

14. This €310 casserole dish.

PastedImage-51489 Source: Brown Thomas

You’d probably have to spend several years eating nothing except for casseroles to get your money’s worth with this. That’s the punishment you deserve for dropping that kind of money on a fancy pot.

15. This €85 Peugeot pepper mill.

PastedImage-47763 Source: Brown Thomas

Yes. Peugeot the car company. You genuinely could buy a Peugeot 206 for less than this. It might not work at all, but it seems like a way more substantial purchase than a pepper grinder.

16. This €60 faux fur hot water bottle.

PastedImage-83163 Source: Brown Thomas

If you were gripping this to your abdomen while trying to soldier through some serious cramps, remembering the price you paid for this hot water bottle would likely exacerbate your suffering. Nothing wrong with a little Penneys hot water bottle.

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About the author:

Kelly Earley

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