Friday 19 April, 2024

Every parent needs to follow this hilarious dad of 4 on Twitter

With four daughters under five, he’s tweeting to stay sane.

MEET JAMIE BREAKWELL.

There were some who said I couldn't be cool AND be a dad.

They were right. pic.twitter.com/BrjvtXQBcD
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 23, 2015

Exploding Unicorn / Twitter

Breakwell is a comedy writer, prolific tweeter, and father to four girls under five:

CekeE3HW8AAHni0 Twitter / @XplodingUnicorn Twitter / @XplodingUnicorn / @XplodingUnicorn

He’s amassed a huge following on Twitter for sharing hilarious tidbits on what it’s like to be a dad to four small daughters.

Hint: It’s pretty crazy. All parents will empathise.

(Some Star Wars: The Force Awakens spoilers to follow, because that’s the way the world is today.)

They talk beauty

No DNA test needed.

I'm sure she's mine. pic.twitter.com/C1FntjdRUE
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 13, 2015

Exploding Unicorn / Twitter

5-year-old daughter: Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty.

5: But she's already pretty.

Me: Aww.

5: Dad, you should wear makeup.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 19, 2015

Exploding Unicorn / Twitter

Money and the economy

5-year-old: I wish we all had infinity dollars

Me: That’d wreck the economy

5: I just-

Me: Go to your room until you understand inflation
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 7, 2015

Exploding Unicorn / Twitter

4-year-old: Why do you go to work?

Me: They pay me a salary.

4-year-old:

Me:

4-year-old: I don’t even like celery.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 28, 2015

Exploding Unicorn / Twitter

Romance

CSrXnlGWIAAia0S Twitter / @XplodingUnicorn Twitter / @XplodingUnicorn / @XplodingUnicorn

5-year-old daughter: I think a boy likes me. He drew me a dinosaur.

Me: That could mean anything.

5: The dinosaur had a hat.

Oh shit.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 25, 2015

Exploding Unicorn / Twitter

[watching a guy on TV do CPR]

5-year-old daughter: Why is he kissing her?

Me: He's not. He's saving her life.

5: I'd rather die.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 23, 2016

Exploding Unicorn / Twitter

Life and death

4-year-old: What happens when you die?

Me: You go to heaven.

4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 2, 2014

Exploding Unicorn / Twitter

3-year-old daughter: Will I have a baby in my belly someday?

Me: If you want to.

3: No thanks. That's where I put my candy.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 5, 2016

Exploding Unicorn / Twitter

And, of course, culture

giphy Giphy Giphy

Me: Who's your favorite in the new Star Wars movie?

5-year-old: Kylo Ren

I'm suddenly very concerned with where our relationship is headed
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 9, 2016

Exploding Unicorn / Twitter

Me: You can't like Kylo Ren. He killed his dad.

5-year-old: Maybe he deserved it.

I'm never sleeping again.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 11, 2016

Exploding Unicorn / Twitter

Breakwell told Buzzfeed that his daughters are cool with having their witticisms tweeted to the masses:

They like what I do on Twitter mainly because it’s all about them. On one hand, Twitter makes me a better father because I spend more time with my kids.

“On the other hand, Twitter makes me a much worse father because I only do it to get more material,” he joked.

You can follow him here.

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Valerie Loftus

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Every parent needs to follow this hilarious dad of 4 on Twitter

They talk beauty

Money and the economy

Romance

Life and death

And, of course, culture

DailyEdge is on Snapchat! Tap the button below to add!