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9 things we'd like to see in Facebook's new News Feed

An oversharing filter? An anti-inspirational status widget? We’d like all of those please.

TOMORROW FACEBOOK IS set to announce changes to how its News Feed works.

It will more than likely have something to do with how the pages and information you’re subscribed to appear on your homepage, and almost certainly have something to do with the way companies pay to have their information displayed.

According to Techcrunch the new filters will allow for a Photos Feed, a Music Feed while larger images in general are on the way.

But in an ideal world, what would the Facebook News Feed offer us?

1. A filter for superfluous baby/cat/dog  pictures/information (delete where appropriate)

Image: Lamebook

I think my cat fancies me LOL

Image: FunnyCatPictures.net

2. A warning when a cryptic ‘poor me’ post is on the way

Image: SomeEcards.com

3. A heads up that there’s a grammar fail in the post

Image: FolkingMetal.com

Image: Lamebook

4. A tip off that someone has been stalking you

If a friend of a friend of your ex-boyfriend knows that you’ve been on holidays, you want to know about it, right?

“Dude, she is TOTALLY hanging out with your other ex. DANGER BAY!” (Shutterstock.com)

5. A safe stalking mode for ex-boyfriends/girlfriends or potential boyfriends/girlfriends

We’re not quite sure how this would work in conjunction with number 4, but dammit Facebook , sort it out.

Image via: HudsonHorizons.com

6. A filter for “if this photo gets a million likes” photos

Image: Imgur

7. Except ones like these

8. A similar filter for inspirational status updates

Please copy and paste this as your status if someone you know has been affected by cancer/diabetes/heart diseases etc ect…

9. Except ones like these

Please copy and paste this as your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone that may know someone who knows anyone. If you don’t know anyone, or even if you’ve heard of anyone that doesn’t know someone then still copy this. It’s important to spread the message. Oh and the hearts. <3 <3 <3 For crap’s sake, don’t forget the hearts. <3 <3 <3
Please put this as your status if you know someone or are related to someone who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable, and in case you didn’t know, can also breathe fire. 93 per cent of people won’t copy and paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6 per cent of people are sitting in the shower, armed with fire extinguishers. The remaining 1 per cent are awesome, and will re-post this.

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About the author:

Emer McLysaght

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