THE FAMILY WHATSAPP is a fragile thing. You have to play it carefully because while your sister is an absolute wreck-the-head with the amount of her nights out that she posts you cannot let her know that they annoy you or else all out war will break out.
Has the Aldi 150 euro giveaway scam reached YOUR family WhatsApp group yet?
— Sarah Breen (@SarahJayBee) November 23, 2017
Here are 9 other things you are guaranteed to have seen in the group at least once.
1. Your uncle posting at least one Donald Trump joke per day.
It’s usually something about his hair or a weird video where his voice has been replaced with Bosco or something. It’s never clear if he makes these himself or if he just spends a lot of time on Reddit.
2. Your granny misusing emojis.
She’s either using too many or she’s using the aubergine emoji thinking it represents an actual aubergine. If she’s anything like my granny, she uses the crying laughing face way more than anyone else you know.
The crying laughing face emoji is what I see when I have sleep paralysis
— Caolán (@Caolan_Walsh) May 3, 2018
3. Famous deaths will always be put into the chat immediately.
*Phone buzzes at 2am* ‘You’ll never guess whose dead’. I’m surprised the grandmothers of Ireland haven’t got one big WhatsApp group keeping track of anyone who dies in Ireland at any time.
If I was in a film and myself and Ma were escaping a collapsing building and I make it out the front but she is running behind me but the doors about to cave in, all I would have to do is shout "YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHO DIED" and she would beeline it towards me like Usain Bolt
— B (@goddammitbrian) March 20, 2018
4. Anytime a pet does something mildly interesting, it’s in the chat.
Molly the dog could have chased a sheep around a field or the goldfish might have actually died and yet somehow a video/photo/audio file of said event will immediately be put into the chat.
5. You’ve seen more than enough of your nieces, nephews and cousins to last you a life time.
Yes you absolutely want see when little Oisin takes his first steps or when little Ciara learns to say ‘Mammy’ but do we need a picture of them in every outfit ever? Calm it down there lads.
Thanks to WhatsApp I can witness awkward family confrontations despite living away from home. pic.twitter.com/VxQZsDlS6o
— Daragh (@DaraghQuinn) January 26, 2015
6. Your dad will post endless dad jokes.
In life there are only a few certainties. Death, taxes and your dad being added to the group and immediately saying ‘Hi WhatsApp, I’m dad’. Strap yourselves in because the jokes are only going to get worse.
Dad killing it on the Droney family WhatsApp chat. pic.twitter.com/2eQcc01e0L
— Daithi (@daithimusic) January 18, 2017
7. Your brother will only reply once a month to pretend like he hasn’t got the chat muted.
It’s usually just the odd ‘lol’ or ‘that’s gas’. He loves you all but he just can’t take the endless chats. He also knows if he left the WhatsApp group, your mother would kill him.
8. Your mam will always share any minor achievment in it, no matter how embarrassing.
It can be something from you getting a promotion in work to ‘Caoimhe just got her eyebrows done for the first time in MONTHS. Isn’t she absolutely gorgeous?’. Thanks mam.
9. Anyone who leaves the WhatsApp is immediately cast out of the family.
First rule of the family WhatsApp. You are never allowed leave the family WhatsApp. Remember, you’re here forever.
