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Which foods can you eat straight from the jar?

A final and definitive ruling.

EATING FOOD DIRECTLY from the jar is one of the great questions of our time. It has set brother against brother, husband against wife, flatmate against flatmate.

So without further ado, we present the definitive guide to the foods that are and aren’t OK to eat without the use of a plate/bowl/bit of bread.

(Some of them don’t come in jars, but in tins or tubs. Please excuse us.)

YES: Peanut butter

Source: Dr Stephen Dann

Peanut butter is delicious and smooth (or crunchy, depending on your preference) and does not require any accessorising with toast. A definite yes.

NO: Mayonnaise

Source: Mary-Lynn

Guys, it’s made of eggs. OILY EGGS. It’s essentially an egg smoothie. Do you want that in your mouth, undiluted by a sandwich or salad? No no no no no no no.

YES: Nutella

Source: Betsssssy

Obviously. Pass the spoon there. Yes.

NO: Jam

Source: cogdogblog

What, are you going to disrespect breakfast now? No.

YES: Pickles

Source: Sam Felder

OK, so ideally they’d be on a plate with a bit of cheese or meat. But in a pinch, directly from the jar is acceptable.

However, taking them out of the pickle juice with your fingers is only OK if you (a) live alone, or (b) only share the jar with someone you also share a bed with.

NO: Margarine

Source: Flickr

We have heard tell of some individuals eating margarine/butter substitute/any kind of bread spread directly from the tub with a knife. Anyone caught doing this should be sent immediately to a reeducation camp for Toast Essentials 101.

YES: Tuna

Source: {Guerrilla Futures | Jason Tester}

OK, it’s not ideal. But in a desperate situation, like when you’re really hungry and can’t wait for dinner, eating a few bites of tuna out of the can is acceptable. A grudging yes.

NB: If you have eaten the whole can, you’ve gone too far.

NO: Beans

Source: sacks08

It’s not so much that eating beans from the tin is particularly offensive. It’s more that it will make you seriously question your life choices thus far, not to mention your overall priorities as a human being.

Save yourself and just throw them in the microwave for two minutes. No.

Would you care to agree or disagree with the above analysis? The comments are open…

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About the author:

Michael Freeman

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