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Fraggle Rock, Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Popeye... all ruined by strangers on the internet

From Popeye to Father Ted. No, really.

THE INTERNET IS a weird, weird place  - and the corner that houses fan fiction must be one of the weirdest.

Fanfic is loosely defined as stories about characters/settings/people written by fans rather than the original creator.

Not just any fans – die-hard super-fans. These people routinely obsess over Harry Potter, Dr Who or Twilight and they feel so strongly that words just pour out of them.

But what about more… ahem… unusual topics for fanfic?

We’ve gathered the weirdest, all from Fanfiction.net.

Popeye

Image: via ComicBookResource

That’s right. Someone has written fanfic about Popeye, Olive and Bluto.

Popeye bit his lip as he held his pipe in his hands. He looked at and old photo of Olive and him hugging on the harbor. He smiled lightly. That was why he never stopped being with her. He loved her and it was almost too much for him. Sometimes being apart from her was like his heart was being crushed yet it felt the same, sometimes, being with her.

He would often wonder when their moment would end with her running off to Bluto. How long did he hold her mind and heart till it ran off again. That was why he didn’t ask her to be his bride. Oh he wanted it. He could almost taste it with how much he wanted it. He just didn’t want to tie her down like that when she could still leave him by walking out a door instead of forcing her to stay.

“I yam what I yam” has never sounded so poignant. Tear.

Queen

There are 345 stories on fanfiction.net dedicated to the Queen musical “We Will Rock You.”

Not even the band.

The musical.

Image: via Wikimedia Commons

Yes, you read correctly. THREE HUNDRED AND FORTY FIVE.

Thick of It

Image: via AU Timeout

We shudder to think what Armando Iannucci would make of his fiery Malcolm Tucker in a romance novel.

If it had been anyone else, Malcolm would’ve thrown off the grip and released a raging inferno of four-letter-words at the person who’d dared to touch him.
But Nicola Murray had always had a bizarre effect upon him—an effect that frightened the otherwise fearless Malcolm Tucker. He was supposed to be invincible—wasn’t he? So why did this damned basket case of a woman make him feel so vulnerable and yet so strong?

Swoon.

I’m Alan Partridge

Image: via Comedy Scoop

I hate you, Tony Hayers
BBC, say your prayers.
Tony Hayers, smells a bit,
Like being covered in polyurethane composite.
Smell my cheese, Tony Hayers
Cheese made up of many layers
I was great until you came,
Then you came and stole my fame
Now I’m on Radio Norwich
And I can’t think of anything that rhymes with Norwich.
Then you fell from your roof
I’ve always thought: what a goof!
And on your grave, I did stamp,
Your wife always thought you were damp.
Knowing Me, Alan Partridge, Knowing You, Scum:
Ah-ha.

Sabrina the Teenage Witch

Image: via Tumblr

Salem kissed the top of Sabrina’s head then rested his head against hers. They stayed like this for what felt like hours, just holding each other in silence. Enjoying each other’s company.

There’s so much wrong with this, we don’t even know where to start.

Fraggle Rock

The author of this Fraggle Rock fanfic piece describes it as: “Horrible, awful, but the idea popped into my head and wouldn’t leave.” Jim Henson would not approve.

Image: via I Love Fraggles

Silence came again, a long, awkward silence. Red surprisingly decided to linger in his arms until she spoke again.

“Then take me with you, Gobo.”

He gasped in shock, looking into her eyes meaningfully. “R-really? You’d come with me? You’d leave the Rock… all for me?”

“Yeah.”

“But why?”

“Because I think I might love you, Gobo Fraggle. And- and I just couldn’t bear to live without you.”

Winnie the Pooh

Image: via FanPop

“I love you, Pooh,” I hear myself say, hardly even aware that I’m the one saying it.

“I love you too, Piglet,” he replies softly.

We have what’s important. We have the little things. We have each other. And I am more happy here and now with him than anywhere and anywhen with anyone else ever.

Aww. Sorta.

And finally…

On Fanfiction.net, there are

  • 2,791 entries for Kung Fu Panda
  • 92 entries for Blue’s Clues
  • 26,691 entries for Stargate: SG-1
  • 5 entries for… Father Ted!

Read: Weird Wide Web: Pizza, glass texts, and a text pest>

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