Dublin: 13 °C Friday 19 April, 2024
slav for love

An essential history of George Hook's career as an erotic novelist

Ireland is not ready for this, George.

PEOPLE OF IRELAND, prepare yourselves – George Hook wants to write an erotic novel.

Yes. This man wants to write a sexy story for you.


Speaking with Today FM’s Anton Savage this morning, Hook revealed he had 25% of the book done.

When asked if it was comparable to EL James’ Fifty Shades of Grey series, he said:

This book is more Tolstoy than EL James. First of all it’s well written – it has full stops, commas, and paragraphs.
Fifty Shades appeals to all the secret longings of middle aged housewives. [My book] will cater to the middle-aged men who have said, “Oh shoot, this is all the stuff I missed out on on Leeson Street.”

On The Right Hook yesterday, the broadcaster said the plot of his erotic novel involved a young Polish girl who was “despoiled” by four German soldiers during WWII. Grim.

But this isn’t the first time Hooky has flirted with the idea of writing an erotic novel – oh no.

28/05/2015. Late Late Show - Dance Off. Pictured G Sam Boal / Photocall Ireland Sam Boal / Photocall Ireland / Photocall Ireland

According to the Irish Independent, he wrote ten chapters of a chick-lit book back in 2007, for the RTÉ show Arts Lives.

The book, called Slav For Love, chronicled the adventures of a ‘Polish blonde’ (we’re sensing a theme here) who moved to Dublin to be a novelist. Somehow, she ends up “brain-damaged, beaten up and shipped to the Middle East”. Grim.

He described his heroine thus:

Having screwed her way across Ireland, the heroine finds her redemption with Mr Right. She’s gorgeous, she’s clever, tough as nails, with a wonderful chest. She’s the kind of woman I’ve always wanted to fall in love with.

This leading lady has distinct similarities to Hooky’s longtime crush, Pamela Anderson, no?

MAC AIDS FUND VIVA GLAM PARTY Graham Hughes / Photocall Ireland Graham Hughes / Photocall Ireland / Photocall Ireland

We await the publication of Hook’s erotic novel with baited breath. Just when we thought we’d gotten over Alan Shatter’s Laura, eh?

11 hilariously angry Amazon reviews of the new Fifty Shades of Grey>

People are live-tweeting the worst bits from the new Fifty Shades book>

Your Voice
Readers Comments
    Submit a report
    Please help us understand how this comment violates our community guidelines.
    Thank you for the feedback
    Your feedback has been sent to our team for review.