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27 foods Americans eat that we would never touch

Does anyone even know what a Sloppy Joe is?

1. Pumpkin Pie

PastedImage-42190 TheCulinaryGeek / Flickr TheCulinaryGeek / Flickr / Flickr

In Ireland pumpkins are purely for aesthetic use. Plus Americans get canned pumpkins for pies and we don’t have a lot of access to canned pumpkins.

2. Pastrami sandwiches

PastedImage-17072 Jorge Gobbi / Flickr Jorge Gobbi / Flickr / Flickr

Someone needs to tell them to go easy on the meat. That’s way too much for one sandwich, but that’s pretty standard.

3. Sweet potato pie

PastedImage-72674 Southern Foodways Alliance / Flickr Southern Foodways Alliance / Flickr / Flickr

They will turn anything they get their hands on into a pie. Imagine we ate regular potato pie.

4. Frito pie

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This ones not even a pie, but they insist on calling it that. It’s a packet of crisps with cheese and chilli thrown on top. Imagine we mixed up King crisps and peanuts in the pub and called it a King crisp pie. Wouldn’t happen.

5. Sloppy Joes

Rich red wines go great with beefy sloppy Joes TNS / ABACA TNS / ABACA / ABACA

If you even watched just five minutes of American TV as a child, you’ve probably wondered what the hell a sloppy Joe was.  It’s still not totally clear but it just looks like a mince sandwich.

6. Spray Cheese

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And it’s always with crackers. Is this made solely for crackers or what?

7. Jars of cheese

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There’s no obvious explanation as to why this exists. What kind of sandwich requires spreadable cheese over sliced cheese?

8. Tater tots

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If these were anything special, we’d have them here by now.

9. Sno cones

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Just have a cool pop or a slush puppy. These are probably ridiculously sweet, considering that they are just ice and syrup.

10. Peanut butter and jam

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These aren’t revolting by any means, but they would just never become a staple in Ireland the way that they have in the US.

11. Cheese Singles

PastedImage-66695 Mike Mozart / Flickr Mike Mozart / Flickr / Flickr

Of course we sell these in Ireland, but does anyone actually buy them? The majority of peoples experiences with these are from the free sandwiches that got sent to primary schools (with the Avonmore race-car milk) across the country during the late nineties and early noughties. That alone has kept the cheese single economy in Ireland afloat.

12. Deep dish pizzas

PastedImage-45500 A Gude / Flickr A Gude / Flickr / Flickr

Why are the ingredients upside down? What is the sense in this?

13. Grits

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This is made of corn, but it looks like porridge. What is it supposed to be?

14. Sweet potato and marshmallow casserole

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Imagine we made regular potato casserole and put marshmallows on top.

15. Kool Aid

PastedImage-56551 zombieite / Flickr zombieite / Flickr / Flickr

Making a drink from powder really adds an annoying extra step with very little pay off. It probably requires as much water to produce this powder as it would to just sell it as a bottled drink.

16. Peeps

PastedImage-74852 Marc Arsenault / Flickr Marc Arsenault / Flickr / Flickr

These little marshmallow ducks will never go down well after that episode of Malcolm in the Middle when Malcolm’s brother Francis attempted to eat 100 of them and they expanded in his stomach.

17. Root beer

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This tastes exactly like cough medicine. Not very refreshing at all.

18. Sausages that look like this

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This is not a sausage. This is not what you want in a restaurant when you order a sausage for breakfast. It’s practically like eating a hamburger for breakfast.

19. Biscuits and gravy

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These things are not biscuits or gravy. That’s a weird scone with some unidentified sauce that resembles gravy in no way whatsoever.

20. Twinkies

PastedImage-18640 Mike Mozart / Flickr Mike Mozart / Flickr / Flickr

If you try these once, it’s enough for the rest of your life. It’s unlikely that you’ll ever crave them again.

21. KFC’s Double Down

PastedImage-94933 Michael Saechang / Flickr Michael Saechang / Flickr / Flickr

This is supposed to be a sandwich. It’s bacon and cheese inside of two pieces of fried chicken. While it’s probably acceptable to make at home when extremely hungover, it’s not something that anyone wants to eat regularly enough for it to be sold at a fast food chain nationwide.

22. Poutine

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While this dish is famously Canadian, it’s pretty widely available in America. There’s nothing more comforting than eating gravy and chips. Nothing. So why add cheese curds to the mix? There’s no need.

23. Meatloaf

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Just pick one meat to have with your dinner.

24. Hawaiian pizza

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One of America’s worst contributions to the world, which says a lot.

25. Corn dogs

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That looks extremely unappetising.

26. Hershey’s chocolate

PastedImage-78812 Mike Barry / Flickr Mike Barry / Flickr / Flickr

Like Twinkies, if you try these once or twice, you’ll never have any urge to eat them again. They taste like chocolate from a cheap advent calendar.

27. Donut burger buns

PastedImage-54464 Loozrboy / Flickr Loozrboy / Flickr / Flickr

A cheeseburger inside a donut? That’s appetite-destroying. This should be illegal.


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