IF YOU HAVE spent more than 15 minutes on the internet at any stage over the last few years, you’ll be well aware that people are more obsessed with astrology than ever before.
There was once a time when the horoscope in the back of the telly mag would suffice, but that will no longer cut it. There are people who spend their Sunday evenings refreshing Poet Astrologers on Twitter, waiting to see what they should expect in the coming week, or how they should be dealing with whatever’s going on in their personal lives. Then there are plenty of other people who couldn’t give a shit about your star-sign. They want to see your entire birth chart before they make their mind up about you.
If you have absolutely no idea what a birth chart is, it’s based on the concept that every individual’s personality and path in life is determined by the date, time and location of their birth. You might think it’s silly, but there are plenty of people who swear by it and can’t believe the creepy consistencies between their life and the projections of their birth chart.
You can see your birth chart for free on loads of different websites, but an app called Co-star has become particularly popular among people who are interested in this sort of stuff, because it allows you to add friends, compare charts and message each other on the app. It’s like a little social network.
Another feature on the Co-star app is the daily push notifications, that remind you to check in on your daily horoscope by giving you a piece of advice to follow for the day.
This advice isn’t always pleasant, or what you want to hear. In fact, sometimes it can be a little bit sinister…
co-star..... are you okay pic.twitter.com/4rujYZTxeN
— 𝕤𝕚𝕝𝕜🍸 (@vodkastrology) March 16, 2019
A little bit rude…
Co-star comes for me every day but I don’t delete it because it keeps me humble. pic.twitter.com/nScd8GmOnm
— emily🌹🌿 (@emilymoonie_) March 16, 2019
Or just downright strange. People on social media began to notice this, and began sharing their weird notifications and constructing parodies, which were hilariously accurate.
nobody:
— jaaan (@lmaoitsjan) March 17, 2019
me:
co-star:
╭━━━━━━━━━━━━╮
┃🌔 CO — STAR ┃
┃𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 ┃
┃I see you’ve taken an ┃
┃extra sip of dumb bitch ┃
┃juice today ┃
╰━━━━━━━━━━━━╯
