Dublin: 7 °C Saturday 13 April, 2024
cuddle in

9 things you'll know if your hot water bottle is your boyfriend

Fill her up there!

GIRLS, THERE’S ONLY one man you need this winter, and that man is a hot water bottle. Here’s why.

1. Making one up feels like such a treat

Boil the kettle. Use some of the water for a cup of tea, the rest of it for your hot water bottle, then sit yourself down for then evening. Who needs a date?

2. There’s not a hope of you going to bed without it

A hot water bottle will never hog the blankets on you, it will never snore, and it will never kick you in its sleep. The best bedmate of all time.

3. And it’s the perfect accompaniment to a cosy night in

Would you rather go out to a pub and get drink spilled on you all night, or lie on the couch with snacks and a hot water bottle cuddled up next to you?

4. It soothes and comforts you through your period pains

The one thing that always works.

5. And is always there for you when you’re sick

Heal me, watery wonder.

6. It’s spent a considerable amount of time stuffed up your jumper

CIRNcbVW8AE6I_8 Twitter / @RebekahOLN Twitter / @RebekahOLN / @RebekahOLN

You got very intimate very quickly.

7. You’ve contemplated taking it out and about with you

Surely no one on the bus will notice you clutching a hot water bottle to your belly? Surely not?

8. You’re always on the lookout for new covers to dress it up with

I just wanna look good for you, good for you, uh oh~

9. And you love it so much you’ve thought about giving it a name

Tweet by @🌸 🌸 / Twitter 🌸 / Twitter / Twitter

This is a committed relationship, and you have to show it how much you care. So we’ll say it: Hot water bottles, we love you <3

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