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Housemates From Hell

We asked you to share your housemates from hell stories, and we've picked the most hellish

You told us how you stayed as cool as a cucumber with a nightmare housemate.

THIS MONTH, IN association with Sprite Cucumber, we’re celebrating all the times you stayed as cool as a cucumber. No matter what was happening around you. We want to hear your most amusing disaster stories – and we’ll be sharing the best ones.

We grew up watching Friends.


As a result, we assumed a houseshare meant you lived with your best mates in a massive apartment and rarely concerned yourself with talk of bills, mould or housemates from hell.

Oh, and if those issues did arise, it wasn’t long before everyone was having a right ol’ laugh about them. We mean, remember when Chandler created a card game in order to give Joey rent money? Or when the pair tricked Eddie into moving out… and he just went? Sure, this housemate thing was a pure laugh.

And then we left home.


Whether it’s with strangers or friends, sharing a house reminds you just how batsh*t crazy people can really be.

You don’t know someone until you’ve shared a bathroom with them; put it that way.

And this is something you guys know all too well.

Like the champs you are, you re-visited some painful memories and explained how you managed to keep your cool during some of the most outrageous moments in your houseshare history.

And we’ve cherrypicked the absolute best of the worst… if you see what we mean.

1. Charming. Absolutely charming.

My housemate was generally a lovely dude, but he was also the most inconsiderate arse I had ever met. Here’s all, in order from worst to bad:
1. His snot was stuck to the shower walls all the time, he didn’t clean it away. He never used tissues so he just snotted into the shower.
2. We had carpet in the bathroom (I know, gross) and he lost lots of black hair that was stuck to the soggy carpet and made it essentially black.
3. He didn’t towel off before leaving the shower and soaked the whole carpet in the bathroom, it smelled of wet dog all the time.

Oh, it doesn’t stop there…

4. He smoked in his room that was right above mine and because there was a tiny yard outside, the wind blew it all into my open window.
5. He talked via VOIP-phone to his family – at 4am, shouting and jumping heels first out of his bed, which was also right above mine
6. He washed the dishes with ice cold water and no liquid and left bowls turned up so they wouldn’t dry.

2. Sound, like.

I shared a house in college with a “friend” who would regularly use things of mine without asking, a usual occurrence with housemates I know but when I would ask for them back she would always say something negative. So if she had my brush she would tell me “It’s a crap brush anyway”! And when she used all of my printer paper she made a point of saying “It was rubbish paper anyway”! Lovely person!

3. And then there was this…

I had a house mate who left used tampons on the edge of the bath. Twice our other housemate came home and in the dark put his hand on them. I can still hear their argument.

4. Oh, joy!

A friend of mine had a housemate once who used to pee in empty bottles, empty jars, and glasses in his room.

5. Who raised these people?

I had a housemate who routinely ate scrambled eggs on pasta for dinner. Occasionally seasoned with ketchup.

6. OK, no.

I had a housemate who used knock very lightly over and over on my bedroom wall at night, and then deny it in the morning. It was one of the creepiest encounters I’ve ever had. Luckily our landlord decided to sell, so we all had to move out shortly after he began doing that.
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