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Dublin: 4 °C Thursday 14 November, 2019
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11 totally reasonable ways to keep warm today

You won’t find these tips anywhere else.

IT’S COLDER THAN Simon Cowell’s heart out there. What are you going to do about it?

Sure, you could listen to the usual waffle about ‘insulating your house’ and ‘putting on an extra jumper’, but who wants to?

Here are some better ways to keep warm:

1. Wear this

KnitCookies/Etsy.com

Not only does it protect your head, chin and central chest area, but you also look like a total badass.

2. Do this

imgur.com

THAT'S what I'm talking about.

3. Employ these guys

Ready...

Engage!


YouTube/cheezburger

They will look for you. They will find you. And they will pile on top of you. Problem solved.

4. Play the piano

In the style of this guy.

This is Japanese jazz pianist Yosuke Yamashita. We're guessing he was cold.

YouTube/NTDTV

5. Be a baby penguin

Baby penguins are ALWAYS warm. The evidence:

Danny Lawson/PA Archive

Mind if I back up here? ... nng ... rrg ... AAAhhhh.

Kin Cheung/AP/Press Association Images

If I was any toastier, I'd be Hovis.

6. 'The Joey'

always-friends.de

Also known as 'The Ryanair':

YouTube/Shorthairandcrazy

7.Blend in

Nobody will ever notice you're taking their warmth... if you do it in disguise.

Cat? No, I haven't seen the cat.

Flickr/Vagabond Shutterbug

TURN THAT CAMERA FLASH OFF DAMMIT HE DOESN'T KNOW.

Flickr/StormKatt

8. Befriend this man

But don't stand too close when he's lighting the barbecue

He gets a bit overexcited.

And then has to run round in circles.

YouTube/WPLBrs

(He was OK in the end)

9. Hang out with the manatees

YouTube/FPL

They always know where the warm water is. Plus, you get to be friends with THIS:

STEVE NESIUS/AP

10 . Wear this

cloudfactorys/etsy.com

Especially suitable for flying an old-fashioned aeroplane, but also good for the office.

11. Sit here

imgur.com

Sorted.

In pictures: Animals who know winter is here>

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About the author:

Michael Freeman

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