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If Makeup Tutorials Were Anything Like Actually Putting On Makeup

*sneezes immediately after applying mascara*

HEY GUYS! EXACTLY none of you have been asking but I’ve decided to do a quick tutorial on my everyday makeup look. Hope you love it!

1. OK, so first, I’m going to prime my face. I don’t think this actually does anything but I’m now afraid to not put it on, in case my face just… falls off.

2. Alright, time for foundation! This is not entirely the right shade for me but I spent €50 on it and the lady was so sure it WAS the right colour for me and now I just have to use it. It’s fine. I’ll apply it down my neck.

3. I’ll be putting this on with a brush that is so dirty, I’m pretty sure I could do a full face with the foundation residue encrusted in it. But let’s not think about that.

4. Now I’m going to spend a good 15 minutes patting different shades of concealer over this massive f**ker of a spot that just does not want to be concealed, while cursing hormones.

5. After that, I’ll powder my face with a big, fluffy brush until it has the look and feel of dry porridge. You really want that matte, oatmeal-y texture.

6. Next, I put a stripe roughly in the location of my ‘cheekbones’ (LOL) using a contour kit I was somehow possessed to buy in the US. Does this make me look chiselled or dirty? I can’t quite say.

7. I’ve just spent quite a while doing away with any natural shine on my face, so now I’ll go back in with my highlighter to replace it. This doesn’t quite make sense to me either.

highlighter2 YouTube YouTube

8. Now I’m moving on to eyes! I want to do a very subtle look with soft browns and taupes, AKA the only two shades I ever use in my Naked palette.

9. However, because I haven’t washed this eyeshadow brush in a while, any colour I choose will inevitably come out a sort of muddy grey. I just roll with it. Smokey eyes are cool for daytime!

10. Next, I’ll do a small, dainty cat-eye flick with liquid eyeliner. I like to keep my hands really steady to do a thin, precise line, then twitch and get a big black blob on my eyelid. Again, just go with it! Thicken that baby up!

11. I finish off with a few coats of a clumpy mascara I should have thrown out three months ago. I usually sneeze immediately after applying it to get that sort of grungey, lived-in look.

CkKdV17UgAA7hM6 Twitter / @trixiemattel Twitter / @trixiemattel / @trixiemattel

12. Finally, I’ll do lips – I like overdrawing them with lip liner to make them look bigger, then being honest with myself and going with my natural lip line.

13. Then, after mulling over my vast collection of lipsticks, I’ll choose the one that’s least likely to come off on my chin when I’m eating. I recommend forgetting to bring the tube with you, so you can’t reapply it when it wears off! So cute.

And that’s it! Hope you enjoyed this perfectly mediocre everyday makeup look. Thanks for watching!

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