EVERY SINGLE ONE of us has a ‘weird boss’ story.
And let’s be honest, ripping the piss out of them helps many of us comes to terms with the sh*tshow of a human we were once forced to take orders from.
Yeah of course, there are probably better ways to deal with the memory of that utter oddball, but look, we’re all out for those sweet, sweet likes.
With that in mind, a Twitter user got the ball rolling on the topic, asking followers to share their horror stories with wild abandon.
what's your most insane boss story? extra points for shit that seems unbelievable but Actually Happened
— I can smell your tweets from here. yum! (@ChrisCaesar) July 10, 2018
Naturally, people were only dying to get stuck in.
Here are just some of the responses he got to the request, and if we’re being honest, it really helps put our experiences in perspective.
Twitter, we’ll let you take it from here.
1. Jesus wept.
One time my boss ate all of the breading off of 3 pieces of leftover fried chicken I brought to work for lunch and then put the naked chicken back into the breakroom fridge like nothing happened.
— Ryan, perdido en TX (@RyanLostinTX) July 10, 2018
2. Yeah, because that’s the same.
A friend of mine had brain surgery around the same time that our boss got a boob job. Our boss tried to show she was empathizing with my friend’s pain after the surgery by talking to her about her boob job pain, and then opening her shirt to show her scars from the implants.
— Football come home bitch 🏴 (@WindingDot) July 10, 2018
3. To be fair, we could get on board with this.
My boss went missing for a whole week following New Year. He eventually turned up the following Monday, unshaven, smoking heavily at his desk, dressed in a Marilyn Monroe fancy dress outfit. I asked for a transfer, got it.
— Alistair Coleman (@alistaircoleman) July 10, 2018
4. Oh, joy!
Worked in a 70+ person company where every single email from a work account was bcced to the MD, who would sit there just scrolling through, looking for something to reply angrily to (often several hours after it was sent). As you might imagine it was somewhat oppressive.
— Jamie Thunder (@jdthndr) July 10, 2018
5. We shouldn’t laugh, but…
It’s so hard to pick one:
— Krash (@Krizzzash) July 10, 2018
I was written up for coming in early.
I was written up for fixing something broken.
I was fired from a job when I pointed out they had only been paying half my salary for a year.
I was hired to a FT position with no hours.
I was hired and never informed.
6. Multi-tasking at its finest.
had to proofread my boss' erotic fiction in a theater internship (unfortunate), and do the company's taxes (illegal)
— Killian Walsh 🌹 (@Kwalshyall) July 10, 2018
7. Tell us again?
This latest 9/11 I walked into work and the first words my boss said to me were "Do you think 9-11 was an inside job?" Then spent the next hour explaining to me why he thought it was.
— Leftist is bestest (@DWGreviews) July 11, 2018
8. Oh wow, that was sound.
Valentines Day, everyone arrived in the office to be given an envelope. We were really touched until we opened them to discover our P45
— ཀ།༨ཇ ་།་འ།སབཇའ (@chthonicionic) July 10, 2018
9. Sweet Jesus.
One of my bosses faked having cancer to get out of working for 4 months, then disappeared when the owner found out. She had bariatric surgery and used cancer as the excuse for the weight loss.
— Bina (@binaisagnome) July 11, 2018
10. As you would be, we’re sure.
I had a boss who made me find and call the number for NBC programming so he could lodge a complaint that Katie Couric mispronounced a word (she instantly corrected herself) because it made him angry and unable to enjoy his breakfast. He was upset about it all day.
— Chickie (@annefcav) July 11, 2018
11. Well, thats you told.
I once said “good morning” to my boss and his response was “fuck off”. I had not done anything to elicit such a response, that was what he was like, on a good day.
— Richie Lee🧠🇫🇷❤️🏴 (@richiebzzzt) July 11, 2018
12. That’s it, we’re out.
Walked into my cafe’s storage closet to find my boss with his hand down the front of his pants, moving it around. He frantically explained he was applying an ointment, which he then proffered so I could verify said dick ointment.
— tom petty’s ghoulish remains (@dogeatfoodworld) July 10, 2018
