IN REAL LIFE, these things never happen.
But that doesn’t stop you dreaming of:
1. Making an absolute scene in a shop, slamming the table and roaring “GET ME THE MANAGER”
In real life, you silently accept whatever situation is presented.
2. Appearing on Winning Streak and having your tactics fully worked out in your head even though you never buy a scratch card
“I would totally veto any embarrassing signs from my fans in the crowd, too.”
3. Moving to a country where the weather is absolutely delish and not the rain-soaked nightmare that is Ireland
*shakes off umbrella*
“I should f**king move somewhere where it’s not tipping it down every single day.”
*relaxes*
4. Sending back food in a restaurant because something isn’t right and not being mortified by the situation
We can dream.
5. Making a blanket fort in your living room for the craic
Because everything is better inside the fort.
6. Coming across really well on a reality show – basically becoming a fleeting national treasure
“Yeah, I think I would be popular, understated and the public would like me.”
But you’d never actually look into entering.
7. Getting on Liveline and completely torching someone in a debate
In real life, you probably wouldn’t bother calling Joe.
8. Going around the supermarket frantically putting s**t in the trolley like you’re on Supermarket Sweep
Which is never going to happen. But every time you fire up that trolley a small part of you wants it.
9. Getting snowed into the gaff on a work day and subsequently getting it off
Ireland rarely provides such levels of snow, but we can dream.
10. Calling someone out on their Facebook bullshit once and for all
11. And finally… appearing on Room to Improve and the whole country falling in love with your gaff
They both like the original and LOVE the plans you have for it. The nation swoons over your finished masterpiece and Dermot Bannon gives you a nod – acknowledging that you are the sounded Room to Improve contestant ever.
