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Christmas

7 stupid luxuries every Irish household buys each Christmas

It’s the little luxuries that count.

THE UNOFFICIAL MOTTO of Christmas is “Treat yourself”.

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We Irish fervently adhere to this motto, investing in a number of little luxuries every year. (Or items that we dupe ourselves into believing are luxurious.)

Such as…

1.  Baileys

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A bottle of Bailey’s or some other ludicrous alcohol that you would never ordinarily drink can be found in every Irish cabinet. You claim it’s for in case you have any visitors, but we all know you drink it while watching Munich or something on December 29th.

2. Fancy crackers

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Fancy crackers. They’re not that fancy. In fact, they’re just circular.

But they’re always known as “fancy crackers”.

3. Biscuits

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Making a cup of tea and gleefully asking, “Would anyone like a…biscuit?” Cue smugly walking out with a box of USA Biscuits and placing them in the centre of the table like you’re living in goddamned Buckingham Palace.

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4. Ferrero Rocher

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Be honest: you think a pyramid of Ferrero Rocher on a silver platter is the definition of luxury and you invest in a box every Christmas in an effort to feel classy. (You also eat six for breakfast in lieu of real breakfast on Christmas Day.)

5. Miscellaneous chocolate products

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You’re walking through Tesco on Christmas Eve and see Terry’s Chocolate Orange or some other chocolate product that you would never dream of buying during the rest of the year, but are convinced you’ll need this year.

In the basket they go, so!

6. Tayto Christmas Box

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The ultimate Christmas luxury. Nothing says Christmas like stuffing your face with a pack of Tayto when you’re even the slightest bit peckish.

7. Notion-flavoured ice-cream

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Viennetta, Häagen-Dazs, Carte d’Or – every household invests in one of these notion-flavoured ice-creams.

Only problem that everyone is too full from gorging on biscuits, crisps and turkey sandwiches that all offers of ice-cream are politely declined with, “I won’t have any ice-cream, but I will have a cup of tea.”

Oh well. It might hold until next year.

The essential ‘Christmas at home’ survival guide >

The 12 smells of (Irish) Christmas >

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