Dublin: 16 °C Monday 8 August, 2022

15 Irish headlines that SHOULD have been Waterford Whispers (but weren't)

TD warns of smelly women.

TRULY, IRELAND IS a wonderful place. So wonderful, it’s sometimes more or less impossible to satirise.

1. On crime

Source: Irish Times

““Was the bacon and cabbage to be given before or after the grass cutting?” Judge James O’Connor enquired.”

2. On hygiene

Source: Connacht Tribune

Noel Grealish was literally worried that Irish women would become smelly. “The day of the young woman spending 20 minutes under a shower before she goes out on a Saturday night will certainly become a thing of the past,” he told the paper.

3. On prison riots

Source: TheJournal.ie

4. On fashion

Source: Dundalk Democrat

“Much like any normal day…”

5. On parenting

Source: U Magazine

The question on every Irish person’s lips.

6. On the clergy

Source: TheJournal.ie

I know that feel bro.

7. On sport

Source: RSVP

8. On the judicial system

9. On policing

Source: @prayforpatrick


10. On public services

Source: Irish Examiner

“Is yours the house with the dead flowers in the windowbox” – Irish Water

11. On climate

12. On the fragility of human consciousness

Source: Dundalk Democrat

13. On innocence

Source: Imgur

14. On sex education

Source: Irish Independent

15. And on mortality

Source: Imgur

HIYOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Thank you Ireland, and goodnight!

More: 26 things you’ll only find funny if you’re Irish>

More: 13 hardest things about being an Irish woman>

About the author:

Michael Freeman

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