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Your Ma!

"Have you no coat?": It's time to play Irish mammy bingo!

Clean up that tip of a room.

INSPIRED BY THE trending hashtag #TalkLikeYourMom, we’ve devised a little game of Irish Mammy Bingo.

Simply tick each one off if and when she says it, and roar out “HOUSE” when you’ve gotten all eleven. You scare the bejesus out of her.

Let’s play…

1. “Have you no coat?”

She knows well you have a coat. She’s just incredulous that you’re not wearing it. The forecast said rain.

The Irish mammy thinks the IKEA Monkey’s coat looked lovely and warm (via Tumblr)

2. “Will you have it in a bowl or with a wafer?”

This one comes to us via

It’s the post-Sunday dinner dilemma that everyone faces…

3. “Where’s the good scissors?”

My mother revealed to me recently that what we have thought for years was the good scissors is actually a decoy scissors, and there’s actually an even better pair that she keeps for herself for special occasions.

(Special occasions are limited solely to wrapping Christmas presents and cutting the tags off clothes. Maybe to cut a bit of sellotape but that’s it)

Look at that for a a pair of scissors (Flickr/Creative Commons/Arria Belli)

4. “Clean up that tip of a room”

If we all just kept our rooms clean life would be a whole lot easier. Years of childhood are lost to the clean room battle.

The land of forgotten socks (Andy H McDowall/Flickr/Creative Commons)

5. “Oh I’ve plenty for you to do. Starting with the dishes…”

This is the standard response to:

Maaaaa-am. I’m booorrrred.

Flickr/Creative Commons/Clogozm

6. “Do these match? Is that the same colour?”

Irish mammies of a certain vintage are obsessed with things being the same colour… scarves and jumpers, cushions and curtains, earrings and socks, paint and .

They spend a lot of time holding one thing up in front of another thing for comparison purposes.

There’s almost certainly a press full of these in your house somewhere (Chalk and Talk)

7. “Well?”

This is a minefield.

She’s gotten a new pair of glasses/a haircut/a new jumper and you’re just going to have to pick one and hope for the best.

“Well?” (

8. “Oh JESUS”

This is usually said when they’re the passenger seat in the car, convinced that you’re going to crash into anything or anyone at any moment.

These should really be called “OHJESUS handles”

9. “How do you work this yoke?”

She’ll say this while brandishing a phone/remote control.

10. “I’ll leave it in for another ten minutes, to be sure”

There’s nothing an Irish mammy is more afraid of than a bit of pink beef, or the horror of possibly undercooked chicken. Best to leave it in for another while, just to be sure.

No self-respecting Irish mammy would ever serve this (Flickr/Creative Commons/Avlxyz)

11. “Did you see the new rug/cushion/plates/tea towels?”

Woe betide you if you have seen them and haven’t commented on how lovely they are.

“Oh yeah mam, that’s lovely” (Flickr/Creative Commons/Thetejon)

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