EVERY RELATIONSHIP IS a unique flower, with love and kindness and all those other delightful things that go with them.
But some men have a few minor domestic points they feel they should raise. They love you and are fully aware that they are wrong about many things. But let’s hear them out:
1. Expecting an accurate opinion from us on make-up is a stretch too far
When you ask us for our opinion, we really want to say something constructive. Some topics are easier than others though, and make-up is a tough one.
2. Actually, most of the time we can’t tell if you’re wearing make-up at all
Believe is when we say this. We’re not just saying it to be nice :(
3. Unhooking your bra is not a task we want given to us
We’re expected to be able to do it smoothly, so if it’s a little bit of a struggle then we look like bumbling buffoons.
It’s a lose-lose situation.
4. Subtle hints are nice, but sometimes we need it written out
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Yes, we can sometimes get the hint when it’s subtle. But writing it in block capitals on a post it note also works perfectly fine – we will not be offended.
5. We need prior warning before fake tan is opened
It smells like an old sock from someone’s gym bag, dipped in the furnace of hell. A good five minutes of warning before it’s being applied would help everyone out.
6. Sometimes meaningless sports fixtures elicit loud shouting for no reason
Every man, woman and child in the country shouts when Ireland as a nation get to a big sporting occasion. That’s socially acceptable. But a meaningless match between Hull City and Everton can also bring with it similar passion.
Everyone knows it makes no sense, but it can’t be helped.
7. Many men love silence for no apparent reason
We can sit there with a dead expression thinking only about bus routes for a solid five minutes. We’re OK – no need to worry.
8. Sharing food in restaurants needs to be treated on a case by case basis
Sharing is indeed caring. And regularly the rule of sharing main courses when you’re out is a great one. But on the odd occasion the boyfriend might not be happy giving away half of his pizza. For everyone’s sake, let’s have a discussion about it.
9. The “lads” are a self contained social function by themselves
We’re not going for dinner. We’re not heading out. We’re not actually doing anything of note, but it still counts as a social occasion.
Weird, but necessary.
10. We rarely think we’re cool
All that bravado means nothing. We average about one cool moment a year.
11. And we actually do love you so much
But saying it louder than a mumble might be harder for some than you think.
