SIXTEEN BILLION DOLLARS.
That’s how much the WhatsApp founder has pocketed after Facebook bought his messaging service this week.
It’s spawned water cooler conversations across the land about what you’d do with that kind of money. Sure you’d never get it spent.
It got us thinking about the typical Irish rules when it comes to conversing about cash.
Here’s how Irish people talk about…
Other people’s money
Always spoken about in hushed tones with an air of suspicion and an undercurrent of “they don’t deserve it”.
Anyone who shows any kind of notions (a cruise, a new conservatory, paying anyone to do anything you could do yourself) is met with the derisory “sure they’ve loads of money” and how dare they show it off.
Other people’s money for houses
There is a particular brand of intrigue, suspicion and unstoppable nosiness when it comes to where people sourced the money for their house.
An accusation of “the parents must have helped” is the norm, along with a firm assertion that they’re codding you about how much they’re earning.
Lotto money
Irish people have a deep lust for winning the Lotto, but they pretend that they don’t want to win an obscene amount of money. Sure what would you be doing with it?
Anything over the million euro mark and this is the stock response:
And here are the the top five things Irish people would do with a Lotto win:
- Pay off the mortgage
- Pay off someone else’s mortgage
- Build a conservatory
- Maybe get another mortgage and pay that off, just to be sure
- Disneyland
When we used to have money
Ah the Celtic Tiger, the golden age when we used to light fags with fifties and pay €17 for a jar of sundried tomato pesto.
We love chatting about the good old days when you couldn’t throw enough money at kitchen islands, paninis, decking, apartments that hadn’t been built yet and bouncy castles.
Communion money
Somewhere in the bowels of RTÉ a Liveline researcher is already prepping this year’s slew of shows about how much money a child gets for their Communion, how much money is spent on the child’s Communion, how many stretch hummers, karaoke machines and One Direction tribute acts have been ordered for the child’s Communion etc etc etc.
It’s a national obsession, and one that we hold dear (while frantically pelting into a shop to buy a card to put €20 in. Is €20 enough? I’ll put in €40.)
Money on budget day
An accurate representation of the chat surrounding money on budget day:
Their own money
Sure you can’t be talking about your own money. Fierce vulgar altogether.
