PARTS OF IRELAND are expected to reach highs of 24 degrees today.
The warm weather sends us into a frenzy of joy, indecision and uncertainty.
Here are just some of the panics you might recognise.
1. That’s not sunburn, it’s colour, RIGHT?
You held off on the Factor 30 all day, thinking “sure it’s not even that hot”, “I have a bit of a base anyway”.
Fast forward to 8pm and you’re examining your puce face and chest in a mirror, wondering if a Muller Crunch Corner is the same thing as natural yoghurt.
2. Will there be any burger buns left?
You decide at 5.45pm to have a BBQ. As does everyone else within a 15 mile radius. There are only so many burger buns to go around in Tesco.
The literal Hunger Games.
3. Is that lit? I don’t think it’s lit
Sure throw on some firelighters/petrol to be sure. What’s the worst that can happen?
4. Is that cooked?
Better put it in the oven for another 20 minutes, just to be on the safe side.
5. Do we have enough cans?
Nobody wants to leave the banks of the canal to go to the offie, but nobody wants to be left high and dry at 10.10pm. Quite the conundrum.
6. Do I need a jumper/jacket?
Yesterday, for example, the temperatures actually rose as the evening progressed. Another evening, you might suddenly find yourself shivering in the rain as the treacherous Irish weather does a 180.
When it doubt, bring a jumper. Sure you can use it to sit on.
7. Is today ‘our summer’? Should I try to pull a sickie?
You don’t want to be stuck inside on Ireland’s only day of summer while colleagues look wistfully out the window proclaiming:
This is it now, I suppose.
8. Is my car lying to me?
Your car dashboard told you it was 38 degrees today. Surely that can’t be right? You feel faint.
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9. Did I ever bring that tent home?
You cannot for the life of you remember if you lugged your tent home from Electric Picnic/Castlepalooza/Body and Soul last year.
Inevitably you will wait until the day before this year’s festival to check, and then have to hightail it to Argos/Dunnes/Capel St in an effort to secure a new one.
10. Change now or change later?
You’ve managed to make it to the beach for the day and now you’re scorched and tired and ready for road.
Do you leave on your slightly damp, arse-scouring swimsuit for the journey home, or do you attempt to perform an act of contortion under a towel behind a tiny rock?
11. It won’t just be one, will it?
No. If you decide to go out for ‘one after work’ on a scorcher of a day, you will definitely end up falling home at 2.17am, with all the enamel on your teeth sucked dry by pint bottles of Bulmers.
