THE FINE WEATHER we’re enjoying at the moment means many an Irish woman had had to excavate some appropriate clothing from the press.
If you have a ‘summer wardrobe’ (or just a pile of clothes that can only be worn in summer) chances are it contains some of these things.
1. A cringey top purchased during a pre-holiday dash around Penneys
Yes, you did wear a vest that said ‘Beach Please’ in the Algarve in 2015, god have mercy on you.
2. Something you HATE and have been meaning to throw out for years but you never do
This is cat melodeon, you think. But it’s fine for going around in on holidays. Sure who’d be looking at me.
3. A pair of shorts that were surely not that short last year?
Is that… arse cheek? I feel unsafe.
4. A sundress that requires an off-putting level of thought to wear it
It has an open back, loads of stringy thingies tying it together, and one strap – and every year, you must decode it once more.
5. An ill-advised straw hat
You thought you would look like an old Hollywood superstar. Then you bought the Beach Please t-shirt and that fantasy was shot to shit.
6. Bikini tops
…But conveniently, no bikini bottoms. Where do they go to?
7. A swimsuit that gives you the world’s worst tan/burn lines
Who decided criss-cross cut outs should be a thing? They’re dead to us.
8. Sandals that cut the feet off you but you won’t remember until you’re out of the house
COMPEED. FETCH THE COMPEED.
9. A truly worn out strapless bra
Hi, old friend. It’s time for you to constantly let me down in a variety of summery tops again!
10. The One Perfect Sundress you feel amazing in
Maybe it’s a maxi you swish around in like a Greek goddess. Maybe it’s a 50s-style number that makes you feel like Audrey Hepburn.
You could always just make it your uniform for summer 2017?
11. And something you wear year round, minus the black tights
It’ll do. It’ll have to. Because you don’t have the strength for peasant tops and culottes right now.
