LAST WEEK IVANA Trump’s memoir ‘Raising Trump’ was released and it contained a chapter where her 35-year-old daughter Ivanka fondly reflects on her “punk phase”.
Is there anything more punk than being the daughter of a man worth $3.1 billion and sitting on your own fortune of $300 million? As a matter of fact, yes. There are many things more punk than that.
Anyway, Ivanka reminisces on her experience of being ‘punk’ in the 1990s in her new book.
During my punk phase in the nineties, I was really into Nirvana. My wardrobe consisted of ripped corduroy jeans and flannel shirts.
Would these have happened to be like the €1,200 flannel shirts that Melania Trump wears while gardening? She goes on to describe one of her moments of rebellion.
One day after school, I dyed my hair blue.
Pause for a second to remember that she went to Choate Rosemary Hall l for her secondary education, where tuition costs €47,000 a year. Then consider the likelihood of somebody this filthy rich using a box dye. However, she claims to have done so:
Mom wasn’t a fan of this decision. She took one look at me and immediately went to the nearest drugstore to buy a $10 box of Nice’n Easy. That night, she forced me to dye my hair back to blond.
The Cut pointed out that it’s actually pretty unlikely that a pharmacy box dye could cover up blue hair dye. They noted that they had a “hunch there’s a missing part in this story about an expensive salon dye job. But that would sound so very unrelatable.”
Ivanka was pleased with how the Nice’n Easy dye job went.
The colour she picked was actually three shades lighter than my natural colour… and I have never looked back!
All’s well that ends well.
Oh wait, let’s not forget the part about Kurt Cobain! This part of the chapter begins sounding vaguely like she’s reading notes from Kurt Cobain’s Wikipedia that she wrote on the palm of her hand so she wouldn’t forget them.
It wasn’t too long after this that Kurt Cobain, the singer, songwriter and guitarist for Nirvana, committed suicide.
She then goes on to tell readers that her mother had never heard of Kurt Cobain.
It was a shock and I was distraught. Mom had no idea who Kurt Cobain was, and she sympathized only so much. After twenty-four hours of my crying inconsolably in my room, alone – major melodrama – Mom had to pull me out of there to go down to dinner.
People on Twitter immediately began to rip the piss out of Ivanka’s punk phase.
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Earlier this year Courtney Love shared a meme to her Instagram, which read ‘Make America Grunge Again’.
Be careful what you wish for.
