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9 signs you have fallen victim to 'Janxiety'

The symptoms come on fast.

YOU ARE NOT alone, we promise.

At least half of the country is probably suffering from some form of January-based anxiety, or ‘Janxiety’ to give it its technical term.

The main symptoms…

Tiredness like you have never felt before

All those “sure just one more pint” nights in December, all those “sure I’ll just stay up until 4am and watch Hot Shots Part Deux for the 7th time” nights over Christmas, that one time you stayed up all night at Electric Picnic in 2007… they’re all coming back to haunt you and the tiredness of the world is upon you.

I am so tired today. Source: Imgur

Money woes

You’ve sent a sad message about your UPC bill increase to your mam or dad in the hope they might slip you a tenner for petrol next time you’re home.


You’re stressed about not having enough lunchboxes

You’ve made 14 days worth of butternut squash soup. Where are you going to store it all?

You’re stressed about your soup not being good enough

What about that annoying shrew beside you in work who bounded in this morning with a kale and manure smoothie, a gym bag and a “new year, new you” screensaver on her phone? Burn the witch.

nutri Source: @SkinnerLola

You’ve bookmarked 17 different detoxes, cleanses and juice diets

Maybe the witch has the right idea. You’ll start tomorrow. Promise.


Overwhelming nostalgia for The Christmas

If you had known Janxiety was going to hit so hard you wouldn’t have spent three days in your pyjamas eating Chocolate Kimberleys complaining about crap cracker toys and the fact that Roses have “gone to shite”.

You would have climbed a mountain, cooked a delicious meal, seen that friend you’ve been saying “we must meet up over Christmas” to for four years now.

Christmas 2015 is so far away.

giphy Source: Giphy

This fills you with an almost unbearable sadness

You’d even take a Coffee Escape at this stage.


General feeling of malaise

You’ve bought a box of Lemsip because you have a scratchy throat, which everyone knows is the first sign of the cold of doom.

Cruelly, you almost certainly won’t be sick enough to take any time off work. Weep.


Crippling Visa Debit Fear

How long until pay day? HOW LONG?

please Source: www.shutterstock.com


All is not lost. Soon Janxiety will pass and you’ll have your first Creme Egg and Spring will spring and you’ll realise that butternut squash soup is not the answer to everything.

Here, look at this lamb…

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About the author:

Emer McLysaght

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