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Dublin: 10 °C Wednesday 19 June, 2019
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The 9 harrowing stages of coping with last night's Just-Eat outage

Chaos. Utter chaos.

WELL, IT FINALLY happened. Online food ordering service Just-Eat.ie crashed last night and Ireland failed to cope. It was a Saturday night for God’s sake, what were we supposed to do, cook?

What we went through… we must never speak of again.

1. Disbelief

The initial moment it hits you is the worst.

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What? Surely it can’t be. You refresh… but nothing.

2. Shock

It’s TRUE.

3. Panic

Check the presses, what time is it? Are there any canned goods? Is it too soon to call the guards?

4. Crushing realisations

5. Near starvation

This. This is how it all ends.

6. Hopelessness

7. Anger

8. Regret

Maybe you overreacted just a TEENY TINY bit.

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9. Relief

It’s back! Go forth and replenish your soul with a massaman curry and a side of spring rolls.

Or just get that can you were too lazy to walk to the shop for.

God bless us, everyone.

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