Sunday 8 September, 2024

Kate and William wedding 'to rival that of Charles and Di'

We give ‘Waity Katy’ a few ideas for the big day as Prince William pops question after 8 years.

CLARENCE HOUSE, SOURCE of all British royals-related news, has just announced with great fanfare that Prince William and Kate Middleton will marry next year.

The pair got engaged while on holiday in Kenya last month. They have been together for eight years, since they met in St Andrew’s college in Scotland in 2001. The statement from Clarence House says that the wedding will be in the spring or summer of next year and that the couple will live in north Wales afterwards. William is serving with the RAF in Wales at the moment.

Ladbrokes the bookmaker is claiming to have paid out £200,000 to punters who had bet on the announcement coming before Christmas, according to the Daily Telegraph.

The Daily Mail is already pronouncing next year’s nuptials to be “the biggest royal event since the wedding of William’s mother and father in the ’80s”, while the BBC’s Peter Hunt speculates that the wedding venue “won’t be any old back alley”.

So what style of wedding will Kate ‘n’ Wills go for? We here at TheJournal.ie have our fingers crossed that she goes the whole Jordan and orders a crystal-encrusted pumpkin-shaped horse-drawn carriage. Only the best for a future princess…

Kate and William wedding 'to rival that of Charles and Di'

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Wedding tip #1: Get on the train
It's going to be hard to outdo the hoopla of Charles and Diana's 1981 wedding but if Kate can get the dressmaker to make the train on her dress an inch or two longer than Diana's, she'll at least beat her into the Guinness Book of World Records.
Wedding tip #2: Stay classy
For that extra 'wow' factor, Kate should ignore British royal protocol of modesty at all times and think pink, Swarvoski crystals, tight at the top and puffy in the skirt. She IS going to be a princess, innit?
Wedding tip #3: Make it a cakewalk
The Danish Crown Prince and Mary Elizabeth Donaldson didn't leave their guests go hungry with this 10-tier monstrosity. Remember, if you can reach to cut the top tier, it's a cake fail.
Wedding tip #4: Multi-task
Kate could show her guests she's not going to be a right Royal big spender if she takes her lead from this Ukranian couple and saves money by wearing a dress/cake combo. Just mind where they stick the knife.
Wedding tip #5: Escape to Vegas
If it was good enough for The Real King and Priscilla (note the classy ad for the Aladdin hotel in the foreground), it's good enough for Kate and Wills. And apparently there is still no shortage of Elvises in Vegas to conduct the ceremony.
Wedding tip #6: Blend into the crowd
Attention all getting a bit much? Kate and William could consider dodging the cameras in a mass wedding like this one in South Korea.