This site uses cookies to improve your experience and to provide services and advertising. By continuing to browse, you agree to the use of cookies described in our Cookies Policy. You may change your settings at any time but this may impact on the functionality of the site. To learn more see our Cookies Policy.
OK
Dublin: 5 °C Monday 10 December, 2018
Advertisement

A handy (and definitive) list of the ways I relate to Larry David on an emotional level

‘The older I get the more of Larry David’s worst characteristics I exhibit.’

THE OLDER I get the more horrendously impatient I become.

shutterstock_682293202 Source: Shutterstock/seanbear

These days, I can barely endure the stilted shuffle I am forced to do behind people, who move so slowly their Fitbit likely assumes they’ve died, without feeling my blood pressure rising.

Nor can I cope with people who take over the footpath when deciding to use it as a spot to socialise. Either move in against the wall and have your full-blown conversation out of people’s way or accept that everyone who squeezes past you would happily knock you into the path of an oncoming truck.

And it’s not just pedestrian rage I experience; it’s well everything.

patience

I have no patience when queueing, waiting for an email reply, waiting for a computer to update, waiting for toast to pop, being put on hold, and so on and so forth.

And I get that none of the above is anyone’s favourite way to spend time, but Christ Almighty, the older I get the more I become like Larry David.

Oh, and here are just some other thoughts I share with the man.

1. Unless we’re best friends, I probably don’t want to be there.

larry1

2. Believe me; up until the moment I’m walking out the door, you are free to pie me in the face with a big old ‘can’t make it’ text.

cancel

3. And honestly, you don’t even have to make up some bogus excuse.

cancel

4. I might not be yelling, but I’m throwing stink-eyes for humanity as a whole.

yelling

5. Unless it’s bed.

bed

6. How long are we required to do this for? Asking for a friend.

stop and chat

7. Except when the handshake is forced upon me, that is.

handshake

8. When I wait an appropriate amount of time to avoid stepping in front of someone’s photo, and they start taking the piss with re-shoots.

pictures

 

DailyEdge is on Instagram!

  • Share on Facebook
  • Email this article
  •  

About the author:

Read next:

COMMENTS (2)

This is YOUR comments community. Stay civil, stay constructive, stay on topic. Please familiarise yourself with our comments policy here before taking part.
write a comment

    Leave a commentcancel

     

    Trending Tags