AS MUCH AS IT seemed like it might be a walk in the park, Leaving Cert Music was a torment.
The syllabus has not changed for at least two decades, and this is good for one thing – we can all be united in our strife.
1. You haven’t discussed musical instruments with such seriousness before or since
*stops dead in the corridor* “Niamh, in bar 23. That was a bassoon, not an oboe. Wasn’t it?”
“I don’t know Sarah. I just don’t know.”
2. You’ll never forget those ridiculous memory aids
That’s a reel!
3. And certain pop songs are tainted forever more
Unfortunately, these songs are Bohemian Rhapsody and When I’m 64, so that’s not working out so well for you.
4. “Ah but sure Music will be a doddle for you,” said just about everyone
Like you were going to be bopping to Top 40 Hits a few times a week. A doddle!
5. All you had to do was learn off several orchestral movements
Simple!
6. And compose a melody without ever actually hearing it
You just followed a formula and hoped for the best. The actual tune could have been a masterpiece or a piece of sh*t. Who knew?
7. AND sing/play six songs like the little minstrel that you were
That’s a tall order.
8. Those song choices now showcase your teenage music taste
And now I shall sing six My Chemical Romance songs in a row, Ms Examiner.
9. The exam was stuck all the way out at the tail end of the Leaving Cert, too
Right between Russian and Religion.
So you had at least a week to think about your life and choices before finally finishing the bloody thing. How nice of them.
10. Raymond Deane inadvertently summed up your Leaving Cert experience in Seachanges
Contemporary Music Centre / Vimeo
Tiny pings of warning building up into all out chaotic noise? Yep, seems about right.
11. And it still gives you nightmares to this day
We’ve sat bolt upright in the bed many a time roaring “WHO STRUCK A TINY CYMBAL? WHO WAS IT? WAS IT YOU, MOTHER?”
12. But you still feel like you actually learned something
To this day, you find yourself identifying imperfect cadences and pizzicato and feeling very smug. The joy of music!
