LYING IS BAD. We all know that.
But there are some situations where telling a (small) porky is simply the best option.
1. “Oh no, I didn’t stay out too late last night.”
You, at 3am:
Nobody needs to know. That’s the whole sum of it.
2. “Traffic was MENTAL, apologies.”
You slept in, and then the traffic was mental. But yes, probably best to blame it all on the traffic.
3. “That was delicious, Mrs Murphy.”
Your friend’s/other half’s mam and dad went out of their way to make a dinner for you and you cannot let her think it was anything but Michelin-standard, mank dinner smell or no mank dinner smell.
4. “HAHAHAHA!”
This person isn’t funny at all. Not even a little bit. But you want to be nice, so you give them a laugh. That’s grand.
5. “My greatest weakness? Oh, I work way too hard.”
https://vine.co/v/eIegupteHvd
Wrong! Your greatest weakness is pizza. But it’s a job interview! Girl has to make herself look good.
6. “That skirt looks great on you!”
Chances are, if someone is asking your opinion on a new item of clothing AFTER it has been purchased and worn, they’re already pretty set on it. Don’t rock that boat.
7. “I actually have a boyfriend/girlfriend.”
Spoiler alert: Maybe you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend!
But sometimes those pushy people in pubs and clubs don’t accept “No thanks, I’m not interested”, and have to hear that you’re someone else’s property (JK, JK) before they give up and move on. It’s the quickest option.
8. “I’m not feeling great tonight, I might give the pub a miss.”
You’re feeling fine, just not in the mood for a pub crawl. Don’t feel too guilty about bailing.
9. “Sorry, only got your message now!”
Better than saying “I couldn’t have been arsed replying to you, TBH.”
10. “Thanks for the socks, mam! I love them!”
So you don’t really love the socks. DON’T UPSET HER. SHE’S YOUR MAM.
