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9 unforgivable lies we were all told in school

We do not forgive. And we do not forget.

LOOKING BACK on your school days as an adult, it’s easy to feel wronged.

Lies. So many lies.

1. Joined-up writing is useful

The hours we spent poring over these copybooks:

alphabet-cursive-writing-practice-9 Source: Writing Innovations

And what for? What. For.

2. “Your mammy just had to go and do a message for a few minutes.”

The classic first-day-of-school lie. THERE WERE NO MESSAGES.

black-kid-crying Source: BlogSpot

3. “You won’t have a calculator with you everywhere.”

WRONG.

IMG_4876

Similarly…

4. Learning times tables means you know how to do maths

9780714410425 Source: Easons School Books

No, it’s not maths. It’s learning large swathes of numbers by heart.

5. Picking a dandelion will make you wet the bed

DandelionFlower Source: Wikimedia

Pick all the dandelions you want, kids.

6. It is important to know all of the Irish rivers, in order

We’re still waiting for the day when someone says to us: “It is essential that I know which river flows through Portarlington.”

Ireland_physical_medium Source: Wikimedia

“It’s the Barrow,” we’ll answer, proudly.

7. You’ll definitely need to write a postcard to your French pen pal someday

Connemara_large Source: National Library of Ireland

“Salut Marie! Me voici dans le Connemara.”

But there was no Marie. There was never any Marie. :(

8. Long division is a handy thing to know

The.Simpsons.S21E03.The_.Great_.Wife_.Hope_ Source: Bart's Blackboard

“No, don’t bother guessing. Let me get out my notebook and precisely split this bill using long division!” – said no one ever.

9. “Your school days are the best days of your life.”

Cheers for that depressing insight into the future.

giphy Source: Giphy

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