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Dublin: 13 °C Saturday 20 July, 2024
we can't

10 everyday signs that the world is conspiring against you

We just never learn.

LIFE’S SO HARD. These everyday traumas happen to you, and only you. You know it.

1. The spoon and the tap is a daily struggle

What looks like this…

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Feels like this…

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2. It takes three attempts to put in a USB cable

EVERY DAMN TIME. It was put here to push you to your limits.

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3. People walk the opposite direction to you

You can’t even walk right. Just give up.

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4. You constantly like something until you can no longer stand it

If it ain’t broke, wear it out until you break it.

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5. Blinds were designed with your downfall in mind

C’MON. As with the USB, it’s a 50 50 chance, learn what’s what. Still can’t? Bare windows it is.

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6. IE is always mysteriously installed on your computer

It’s a cursor magnet and will ruin your life.

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7. Glass ketchup jars will have their uprising

You knew what was coming. There’s no one to blame but yourself, and the evil conspirator out to get you.

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8. Packaging is only on this earth to test you

Why. Why is it always just US?

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We hate us too.

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Dammit.

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They will never be fresh again

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9. They didn’t make you READ that thing before you bought it

Beyond the wrong battery size or flour type. No no, why would you make products look so similar?

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10. The internet was created to destroy productivity and your personal growth

The ultimate innocent mistake. Sure, just checking ONE thing seemed realistic at the time.

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You had so much potential. So much.

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