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14 memories of Longnecks Nightclub any Ballina person will recognise
You better have your Gold Card.

murphybros Google Maps Google Maps

FOR THE RESIDENTS of Ballina, Co Mayo, Longnecks was nothing short of an institution. Situated in the back of Murphy Bros pub, it brought entertainment and gossip to the town for decades.

The club is no more (it reinvented itself as Rush for a brief period – we won’t talk about that) but at least we have these memories.

Spelling it ‘Longnex’


“Goin longnex?? xx wb”

Heading to The Bard beforehand to scout out the talent

the bard ballina Google Maps Google Maps

You could reasonably expect to see everyone in The Bard in Longnecks a few hours later, so this was where you lay the groundwork for the craic.

Or, if you were a little bit more sophisticated, you’d go to Brennan’s Lane one door down

brennanslane Google Maps Google Maps

“The Bard is full of TEENAGERS,” you could often be heard spitting furiously.

The Longnecks bus, which emerged in later years and brought you from Market Square… five minutes down the road to the nightclub

longnecksbus Google Maps Google Maps

Pure laziness. Ah but the craic, lads! The craic!

The ‘House Rules’ sign outside, which was roundly ignored

longnecks2 Rush Nightclub Rush Nightclub

You’d have a little read as you were in the queue, if only to laugh at ‘Dress shoes only.’ Good one, Longnecks!

Having to pay €10 in. SCANDALOUS

That was like, TWO vodka and whites! TWO!

Obtaining a Gold Card, and the prestige that went with it

longnecksgoldcard Facebook / Longneck's Nite Club Facebook / Longneck's Nite Club / Longneck's Nite Club

It got you in free (before a certain time) and a bottle of ‘champagne’ on your birthday. KA-CHING!

The rush to the door at 11pm so you could get in free with said Gold Card

Rush Nightclub - Mobile Uploads | Facebook Facebook / Rush Nightclub Facebook / Rush Nightclub / Rush Nightclub

After which you would be standing in the near-empty nightclub, waiting for the people who didn’t mind paying €10 in to arrive from The Bard.

And then they did arrive, all at once, and it was WEDGED

Rush Nightclub - Old Longnecks Last Night | Facebook Facebook / Rush Nightclub Facebook / Rush Nightclub / Rush Nightclub

Bank Holiday Sundays. We’ll say no more. (Shout out to the ‘old’ Longnecks in the pic above.)

The blatant overuse of dry ice on the dance floor

Rush Nightclub - Mobile Uploads | Facebook Facebook / Rush Nightclub Facebook / Rush Nightclub / Rush Nightclub

It didn’t help that the dance floor was a tiny sunken pit in the middle of the venue, and would rapidly fill up with fog.

The smoking area being a literal cage on the second floor of the building

smoking area Google Maps Google Maps

It was also around the size of a toilet cubicle, but guess where everybody went to chat and look each other up and down? That’s right. The smoking area.

And the stairs up to it? A health and safety nightmare

9-reasons-why-peter-will-actually-beat-liam-neeson-in-a-fight_1430405198 AskMen AskMen

Narrow, sticky, and so steep that every girl had to try and clutch her skirt to her legs as she climbed, lest she flash the whole nightclub.

Going on weeknights in the summer, where the club had a distinctly more casual air

Rush Nightclub - Sat 12th May 2012 at RUSH | Facebook Facebook / Rush Nightclub Facebook / Rush Nightclub / Rush Nightclub

People decided to come down and dance for lack of anything else to do. Girls might be wearing jeans, for example. Or even flat shoes.

Then piling out and walking back up the town to Supermacs, King’s or the Casuarina (RIP) for a 3in1

supermcas Google Maps Google Maps

Where was the Longnecks bus now that we actually needed it?

More Ballina goodness: An ode to ‘Chicken Dry Hot & Spicy’, Mayo’s takeaway phenomenon>

11 memories of Nero’s nightclub in Kilkenny everyone who was ever there will recognise>

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