If you're visiting your Mam, what's she most likely to give out to you about?
"You never visit anymore."
"Would you not think it's time to get a haircut?"
"Have you *still* not sorted out your health insurance?"
"Don't get cross with me for not knowing how to use Whatsapp! God, you'd never have made a teacher."
Pick an object that best represents your Mam.
A tin of biscuits
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A wooden spoon
A prayer to St. Anthony
A Dunnes Stores Club Card
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A trolley token
Ladies Wedding Hats
A wedding hat
Does your Mam insist on forcing foods like Christmas pudding and Brussels sprouts on you every year even though it's well documented that you like neither?
Every bloody year
No, thank God
Can you remember what your Mam got you for Christmas last year?
Of course I can
No, God forgive me
And finally... which of the following phrases is your Mam most likely to utter on Christmas Day?
"Dinner is ready. No thanks to you lot, of course."
"The receipt is in the bag if you don't like it."
"DON'T BE PICKING AT THE HAM BEFORE REST OF THE DINNER IS READY."
"Who's for some Shloer?"
You scored out of !
You're getting... underwear!
Mams: keeping their adult children in new knickers and jocks since, well, forever.
You scored out of !
You're getting an *actual* physical CD
Never mind the fact that you haven't bought a CD since 2009.
You scored out of !
You're getting a cookbook
Whatever the trendy cookbook is this year, you're getting it. Your Mam's worried that you eat too many stir fries.
You scored out of !
You're getting a good, sturdy fleece
And look, if it doesn't fit you, the receipt is in the bag.
You scored out of !
You're getting a Selection Box (even though you're far too old for one)
She knows you're too old for one. In fact, she doesn't even know if you like chocolate anymore. But sure, she saw them on offer in the supermarket and she figured she might as well get you one. It's tradition.
You scored out of !
You're getting a cheque in a card
Sure, she doesn't know what to be getting you anymore ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
You scored out of !
You're getting a stainless steel colander that was on offer in Aldi
*cue long spiel about how you can pick up some great stuff in Aldi altogether*
