1. When she posted this close-up photo of her eyes apropos of nothing
*kissy emoji*
2. “Are u in #love?” First of all, what on Earth is this photo? Secondly, are you seriously polling your followers as to whether or not they’re in love? Come on, Melania.
3. Who among us doesn’t retire to our solid gold living room to lounge around on a piano in an off-the-shoulder gown?
4. “Off to my summer residence,” said the woman of the people.
5. #antique
6. “What are your plans for the summer? Do they involve traveling around on a private jet? If not, I feel sorry for you.”
7. *retches*
8. Here’s Melania touting her “very creative” website…
9. And here is sneak peak at said website.
Did you design this website on Blingee, Melania?
10. Just a meaningless photo of a flower in honour of International Women’s Day accompanied by nine hashtags including #exceptional.
11. TGIF! Here’s a ghostly photo of me, Melania Trump, to get you hyped for the weekend.
12. What a way to honour Nelson Mandela, amirite?
13. :(
14. That time she hashtagged her lunch #scary
15. When she tried to be a style blogger but neglected to include her head in the photo
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16. Why is she so bad at posting photos!!!
17. April 23rd, 2015: she commemorates her role in the film Zoolander with a beyond sketchy screenshot
18. Great review.
19. Melania Trump: so down-to-earth that her skincare range is literally called ‘Caviar Complexe’
Caviar. That food we all eat every day.
20. Fairly stingy gift from Barron here.
21. How does Melania eat strawberries? Served in a gold implement that looks like it belongs in The Vatican, of course.
22. And how does she drink her smoothies? In fancy glassware, duh.
23. Finally, here is a photo of a very, very sad meal.
#BonAppetit indeed.
