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Dublin: 9 °C Wednesday 12 December, 2018

13 things only people who love nothing more than a secret nap will understand

You don’t understand people who ‘can’t nap’.

RIGHT NOW, OUR friends across the pond are paying tribute to the wonder that is the nap.

Over the weekend, the clocks went forward in the United States and, as a result, Monday March 12 is now National Nap Day – something we can definitely get on board with.

And given our devotion to the activity, we thought it suitable to highlight a few things that will only make sense to someone who would rather be sleeping than doing, well, anything else.

Here are just a few…

1. You could sleep on a clothesline.

Only rookies need a particular setting to lull them into an afternoon nap, but not you.

Forget eye masks or soothing podcasts, you have been known to fall asleep sitting up – coat still on, bag still in hand – within moments of getting into your house.

2. You don’t understand people who say they ‘can’t sleep during the day’.

Why? What’s wrong with them? Have they ever really tried? That’s just awful luck.

You’re almost certain you could change their mind if only they were open to the idea.

3. You have cancelled plans because your ‘brief power nap’ escalated somewhat.

Anyone who loves a good nap has undoubtedly been faced with a dilemma which involves drawing the sleep session to a close and rejoining civilised society, or admitting defeat and cancelling all future plans for that evening.

And we all know what you have done.

4. You have an actual nap-partner.

Anyone truly devoted to the nap has a particular friend they can call on for a nap session.

Basically, they just show up at your door, you mosey on down to your bedroom in silence, and then you both just sink into sleep’s sweet, sweet embrace.

5. You have to endure getting up multiple times a day.

Unlike everyone else who only experiences the alarm once a day, you live through this horror multiple times a day.

You know this is nightmare of your own making, but you can’t help who you are.


6. Boredom has driven you to an unexpected siesta.

There have been times when you’ve been buzzing with energy, but with no plans on the horizon, you find yourself returning to bed and sinking beneath the sheets.

It’s not your fault no one took you up on the suggestion of a hike.

7. You know all too well the odd things that happen during a nap.

We’d wager that you wake up every morning knowing, at the very least, what day it is, unfortunately the same definitely can’t be said of you in the aftermath of a nap.

Also, the drool. Why the drool?


8. Your naps have nothing to do with the amount of sleep you get at night.

They do, however, have everything to do with the fact that you’re an adult in your own home and if you want to faceplant for two hours between work and dinner, you can and will.

9. You have gazed longingly at your pet before leaving for work in the morning.

Curled up in their basket and nestled beneath a radiator, you have literally longed with all your heart to do the same.

And you vow to the minute you get home that evening.

10. You have gained a reputation among your friends as The Sleeper.

While you have lied to your friends about the amount of naps you take, you’re not kidding anybody.

And when it’s all kicking off on WhatsApp, and you’re nowhere to be found, they know well that you’re curled up beneath a crocheted throw, dead to the absolute world.

11. You have at least one questionable nap story.

And whether it involves your work toilets or the dentist’s chair, there’s no judgement here.

nap beach

12. You have at least one perfect nap story.

It almost certainly involved a fire, a full belly and not a jot of judgement from the people around you.

13. You devour any literature which promotes the importance of napping.

See, you’re not lazy. You’re just taking care of the body you’ve been given.

In fact, people could learn a lot from you. Sure, we can see that from here.

self five

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