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gandalf is in it

People who've never seen or read Harry Potter describe Harry Potter

There’s a jack russell that lives under the stairs.

DEAR READER, I must confess that – like the people in the following video – I have never seen or read Harry Potter.

Here is my attempt at describing it:

  • It’s about an orphan with a magic scar on his head
  • He goes to boarding school with his sister (?) Hermione and his pal whose name I can’t remember. The red haired lad
  • The red haired lad possibly gets it on with Hermione at some stage
  • There’s a jack russell that lives under the stairs
  • There’s a bad guy called Voldemort that looks a bit like a lemon with nostrils. You’re not supposed to say his name out loud
  • There are screaming plants
  • You say “wingardium scadavosa” to make a spell
  • Gandalf teaches at the school
  • There are different houses in the school and people are are allocated to the houses depending on how sound they are? Or what kind of spells they make?
  • Somebody dies at the end. Harry maybe? The red haired lad?
  • There’s a magic owl belonging to Dame Maggie Smith

There, that seems about right, doesn’t it?

Now listen to these people have a go:


Watch: Irish mam loses the head at son’s surprise arrival home>

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